The More Things Change...

Let’s count up the MLB managing vacancies.  At a minimum that would include Kansas City, Pittsburgh, Los Angeles (or whatever it is they call the Angels), San Diego and San Francisco as well as the North Side of Chicago.  Because that last one turned Joe Maddon into a free agent, there’s a strong chance that someone else will be changing managers, too.  Which means I wouldn’t want to be Mickey Callaway (Mets) or Gabe Kapler (Phillies).

These days, managers tend to be both younger and open to—or dependent on—analytics.  So, there’s less of a chance that a new hire will be part of what was once known as the “old-boys’ network.”  But it will remain a boys’ club, nonetheless.  Assume six new managers will take the helm in 2020.  Do you think they’re going to bring any women on board as coaches?  No, a woman’s place is...anywhere but a major-league dugout.  What a shame, what a joke, what a travesty.

The Lie of Analytics

The Lie of Analytics

This is how analytics shapes, and some like me would say, twists, baseball thinking.  Consider the stolen base.

According to the numbers-crunching crowd, the stolen base risks outs and injuries (the latter as opposed to the proliferation of oblique injuries suffered by players swinging for the fences).  Moreover, reading the statistics with one eye close and your head bent to the left (or right, as different sabermetricians favor different formulas, it becomes clear that a hitter is more likely to score on a homerun as on a single.  Plus you get two runs, not just one.

Hence, the rise of pitch-framing.  The dumber the umpire and the sneakier the catcher, the more strikes called.  The thing is, for the life of me I can’t recall Johnny Bench or Carlton Fisk or Bob Boone even being hailed as great pitch framers; no, they were more interested in keeping runners at first base.  It’s interesting to note that the Cubs’ Willson Contreras, who stands out among catchers for trying to shut down the opponent’s running game, is rated below-average as a pitch framer.

If base runners don’t run, catchers have the free time to fool umpires on borderline pitches.  If and when the next Rickey Henderson comes along, watch how pitch framing disappears, at least when Henderson II gets on base. 

You Wear It, You Own It

Back in 1990, the White Sox pioneered the concept of “turn back the clock” games with period uniforms and whatnot.  For their July 11^th game against the Brewers, the Sox wore 1917 uniforms, announced player names via megaphone and dressed team employees in period fashion.  One thing rang false, though—black players got to play.

I mean, if you really wanted to turn back the clock, you would’ve imposed a one-day color line, benching Ivan Calderon, Lance Johnson and Sammy Sosa.  As for Ozzie Guillen, Latin players not trying to pass as native-born American started playing in the major leagues in 1911, only they were Cuban and quite white in appearance.  Guillen is not the sort of person to try to pass as anyone other than Ozzie.  And if you didn’t like his looks, well….

All of which brings us to the recent kerfuffle over the Bears’ plan to wear throwback uniforms from 1936.  Oops.  There were no black players in the NFL back then.  What to do?  Basically, several players offered a kind of time-machine defense, to argue wearing those old uniforms meant they were integrating the past, owning it.

As long as everyone realizes the truth lies elsewhere, I have no problem with that. 

Mea Culpa

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.  I despaired of the White Sox sending a message to the Indians.  My bad.  By winning 8-0 last night, the Sox took the season series from the Tribe eleven games to eight while handing their playoff chances pretty much of a death blow.  Best of all, Daniel Palka was Palka.

This family’s favorite right fielder hit his first two homeruns of the season in consecutive at-bats, in the fourth and sixth innings.  The first was a line drive, the second-hardest hit homerun by a Sox player all year, the second a moon shot deep to right on a starry night.  As luck would have it, we were all visiting the in-laws/grandparents just before it happened and were on our way home in our respective cars.

Clare called Michele with both of us on the tollway (hands-free technology, no driving statutes broken).  Everyone was home by the time of the second.  In fact, I was on the phone feigning sympathy for my fried the Cubs’ fan, with this, his team’s ninth straight loss (three more games to go in the season, guys.  You can do it.)  Call waiting was made for a time like this.

Of course, Jason Benetti and Steve Stone interviewed Palka after the game.  Who wouldn’t?  You never quite know what planet Palka will be answering from.  But this time was a little different.  Midway through the interview, Palka said “I’m busy.  I’ve got stuff to do,” took off the headset and ran into the dugout to the clubhouse.  I wonder.

Palka and Nicky Delmonico were media darlings at SoxFest and in spring training.  That status didn’t help Delmonico from getting released midseason or Palka from getting sent to the minors, twice.  I gather Daniel also had a podcast that didn’t go the planned ten episodes.  A player is better off not dodging the media; avoiding questions will only lead to problems down the road.  But mixing the role of athlete with that of entertainer is fraught with danger.  A player could think doing well at one will cover for slumps part of the other.  It won’t.

So, maybe we have a wiser Palka on our hands.  The world may not be ready for that, but who cares?

That's More Like It

Last night’s 8-3 White Sox win over the Indians was sweet indeed, eliminating the Tribe from a shot at the Central Division crown.  And hats off to Ross Detwiler, who climbed off the scrap heep to pitch five effective innings for the victory.

Most of all, a tip of the cap to the Minister of Fun, Sox shortstop Tim Anderson, who went 4 for 5 with two runs scored.  Anderson  leads the majors with a .339 BA, which just happens to be 99 points better than what he hit last year.  What happened over the course of a year?

The answer, in part, is that Anderson doesn’t try to pull everything.  Now, he’s consistently taking pitches to right field, beating the shift time after time.  Anderson’s also waiting back on balls better than he ever has.  So, if we know what Anderson’s done, the question then becomes, how did he accomplish it?

Start with the player—Anderson wanted to change.  All too often, players are too stubborn or wed to a certain approach to consider changing.  Not Anderson, and I just hope he preaches this openness to new approaches to his teammates.  Now, for another question:  who helped him?

TV cameras are forever showing Anderson talking to hitting coach Todd Steverson, which implies a student-teacher relationship.  If that’s the case, none of the sportswriters has picked up on it.  As someone who’s studied hitting to help further his daughter’s career, I’m curious what, if anything, Steverson has done to help Anderson make adjustments.  I don’t mean to sound skeptical, and I admit to not being a big Todd Steverson fan.  But maybe I’m wrong.  It does happen on occasion.

What I do know is Anderson is hitting the cover off the ball; ditto Yoan Moncada.  Last season, Moncada hit an anemic .235.  This year he’s up to .313 while cutting back on his strikeouts from an egregious 217 to a nearly tolerable 151.  What or who happened to cause a change here?  Was it the shift from second to third base, the intercessions of Todd Steverson or a combination of factors?  If only beat writers cared to find out.

The same set of questions holds for rookie outfielder Eloy Jimenez, who’s gone from clueless to clued over the last six weeks or so.  Jimenez has raised his batting average to .267 to go with 30 homers and 77 RBIs.  What happened to the rookie who kept lunging at balls low and outside or swinging at pitches up in his eyes?  I’m ecstatic that version of Jimenez is gone, I and want to know how it happened.

Just in case I end up with some grandkids to coach.

Of Closing Windows and Stalled Rebuilds

It was the worst of times and the worst of times for Chicago baseball teams Tuesday night.  The Cubs lost their seventh straight game, 9-2 in Pittsburgh, to all but end their playoff hopes while the White Sox rolled over by a score of 11-0 for the wild-card seeking Indians.

Like the man said, those ignorant of history are bound to repeat it.  Cubs’ president Theo Epstein had better know something about his crosstown rivals because his team sure seems to be doing a mean imitation of the 1967 White Sox.  With five games left in the season and one game out of first place, that Sox team managed to drop all five games, against the last-place A’s and eighth-place Senators.  Then, after an offseason that saw the Sox trade for Luis Aparicio, Tommy Davis and Russ Snyder, the team went out and lost its first ten games of the new season.  The franchise didn’t hit bottom for another two years.

Well, the Cubs have five all-but-meaningless games left, so they could end the season with a twelve-game losing streak, though I’m guessing they’ll manage to win two more games, what between the Pirates stinking and the postseason-bound Cardinals wanting to rest regulars.  After that, there’ll be plenty of changes on the North Side.  The question is, will Epstein do any better than what the Sox GM Ed Short did in ’68?

As for my team, all you need to know is that Carson Fulmer started.  Fulmer got two quick outs, after which he sandwiched a single around two walks.  Out goes pitching coach Don Cooper for a visit.  Whatever Cooper said didn’t stop Jose Ramirez, batting for the first time in a month since suffering a broken hamate bone in his right hand, from hitting a grand slam on a 3-1 pitch.  For added measure, Ramirez turned around to the right side to hit a three-run jack against Hector Santiago two innings later.

This should be a message series for the Sox, announcing that they’re a force to be reckoned with.  Right.  Maybe if there were some organizational depth at pitcher that could happen.  So, we wait till next year, if not later. 

The More Things Change...

The Texas Rangers will be moving out of 26-year old Globe Life Park at the end of the season to take up residence at Globe Life Field.  What’s the difference, you ask?  Well, the field has a retractable roof and air-conditioning.

According to the Rangers’ website, GLP was designed to cool off fans with something called a breeze; the park was designed to breathe, if you will.  Unfortunately, an alteration, as in $$$ suite project, killed the breeze, so to speak.  Rather than tear down that wall, the Rangers are building a $1.1 billion replacement—in a public/private partnership, nudge, nudge, wink, wink—to seat all of 40,000 people.

I bet air-conditioned GLF will have a real small carbon footprint.  Just kidding.

Connect the Dots, Don

White Sox pitching coach Don Cooper detests social media because it gives the haters and second-guessers a platform from which to attack the team and the coach.  I agree, to a point, that being critics don’t aid their cause by tossing around f-bombs and the like.  But what the Sox front office and coaching staff need to realize is that not every critic is a troll.

If Cooper wants to take credit for fixing Lucas Giolito, fine.  Then, he can also take responsibility for not being able to get through to the equally talented Reynaldo Lopez, who, after yesterday’s 6-3 loss in Detroit, is 9-15 on the season with a 5.57 ERA.  Trust me, we all pray Lopez undergoes a Giolito-like turnaround, starting now.

But there’s a whole bunch of worrisome stuff to deal with.  The game against Kansas City that Clare and I went to, I mentioned to my daughter how long Lopez was taking between pitches.  After the game, he told reporters part of the problem was rushing his pitches.  Well, one of us was wrong. 

Not long after, Lopez promised to be better prepared next season, which leads to a question: why wasn’t he prepared this season?  That would seem to be an area where the pitching coach would have some sway.  For what it’s worth, a seeming lack of preparation could be one of the things that sets off critics and trolls alike.  Here’s another.

In his previous start against Minnesota, Lopez was charged with two runs when Luis Arraez hit a ball with crazy spin on it that eluded third baseman Yoan Moncada.  After the game, Lopez complained about his bad luck.  Sorry, that’s a crutch, not an explanation.  Or, to invoke a cliché cum truism, you make your own luck on the field.

So, if Don Cooper wants the likes of yours truly to lay off him, he should get to work on his talented, unfocussed right hander.  Along the way, tell us what he’s doing with Lopez and how Lopez is responding.  I can’t say for the trolls, but that approach would go a long way towards putting me in my place.  

More Ghosts

It was fourteen years ago last month, August of 2005.  Clare was just starting eighth grade, and we were at my Aunt Fran’s 84^th birthday party.  Frannie was the baby in her family, eight years younger than my mother.  I was just happy that my daughter had a great-aunt she could appreciate, and did.

The party was at my aunt’s house on the Southwest Side, with people filling the backyard to tell family stories, share food and sing that most joyous of songs, Happy Birthday; may the dear Lord bless you.  I know my aunt and my daughter would have kissed both at the start and end of the party because that’s the kind of family we are.  And, because that’s the kind of father I was and it being Sunday with school the next day, we didn’t stay late.

The phone rang not long after we got back home.  It was the coach for a travel team Clare had tried out for.  When they posted the various team rosters, Clare’s name wasn’t included.  But it was all Coach’s bad, apparently.  He said Clare had in fact made the team, it was a numbers’ thing, whatever that meant, and would she like to come play for him?  We’ll see, said my wife.

The phone rang again not a minute after that strange conversation had ended.  It was another travel coach telling Clare she had made his team.  Our thirteen-year old  was so thrilled she didn’t even know she’d made a 16u team.  And all our lives changed from that moment on.

My Aunt Fran died last week, a few weeks after her 98^th birthday.  Clare took Friday off for the funeral, and we went hitting at the batting cages later in the afternoon.  A life ends, life goes on, changed yet unchangeable.  

This is Why You Root for the Guy

According to Chuck Garfien, who was subbing for Jason Benetti on the White Sox TV broadcast last night from Detroit, Daniel Palka predicted he was going to get five hits, which would raise his batting average to .100 (if only that were a typo).  Palka had to settle for three.

How can you not help buy love a guy who handles adversity with such self-deprecating humor?  I’d say it’s an effective approach to all that life has to throw at us.

There’s just over a week left in the season.  Time to go deep, Daniel.  Call it now.  

Musings on a Thursday Afternoon

The ghosts around here like to come out in autumn, drawn to the changing leaves and filtered sunshine, I think.  Yesterday, a few were walking along the lakefront bike trail.

There was my sister Betty, on the way to senior prom 1964 at the South Shore Country Club cum Cultural Center.  There she was taking me to the 57^th Street beach after a day at the Museum of Science and Industry, and there she was taking me to Rainbow Beach.  But she never worked at the US Steel South Works’ plant.  Those were different ghosts, of steelworkers rushing through the gate to punch in at the start of third shift. That would explain the breeze I felt from time to time on the trail south of 79^th Street.

The experts are right about sports being as much mental as physical.  I biked a little under fifty miles yesterday.  If I thought about that distance at the start, I’d have packed up and gone home.  Fifty miles, at my age?  I must be nuts.  That’s probably true, but it was worth it.  All I had to do was one mile at a time and find things to think about.  Or look for ghosts.

Part of the way I replayed Adam Engel’s throw Wednesday night in Minnesota.  The White Sox were up 2-1 in the bottom of the eighth with two out and nobody on.  Eddie Rosario muscled up on a ball that hit the wall in right field.  Somebody other than Leury Garcia might have made the catch, but no matter.  Engel raced in from center and threw a one-hop strike to third, where Yoan Moncada was waiting to apply the tag.  May his defense keep Engel in the league as long as it did Ken Berry.

On the way back, I arranged to meet Assistant FBI Director Skinner, who walked over from her office to meet on the lakefront at Chicago Avenue.  We talked Engel; American Ninja Warrior; the upcoming season of The Titan Games; and the water level of the lake.  Put two people with five college degrees between them, and what do you expect?

Thoughts of a child grown so big kept me going another nine miles all the way back to the car.  I parked in the same area from when we took Clare to science fair in seventh grade at the Museum of Science and Industry.  Ghosts.

Sometimes, the Best Trades are the Ones...

Yes, White Sox shortstop Tim Anderson is having a breakout year, what with his .336 BA to go with 55 RBIs and 75 runs scored.  And James McCann’s no slouch, either, hitting .274 with 17 homeruns and 57 RBIs, every one of them clutch, it seems.  If only every one of GM Rick Hahn’s pickups could work out like McCann has.  Still, I wonder.

For openers, what if the Sox had kept Marcus Semien?  Consider these stats [everything cited today as of Tuesday’s games]: .281 BA/31 homers/87 RBIs/117(!) runs scored.  And let’s not forget Omar Narvaez, hitting .284 with the Mariners with 22 homers and 55 RBIs.  I wonder.

What if the Sox had kept both Semien and Narvaez (we won’t even mention Chris Bassitt or Josh Phegley here)?  At 29, Semien is three years older than Anderson.  You can never have too many good shortstops.  Either Anderson would’ve needed to change positions for Semien, or vice versa.  All I know for sure is the Sox let go of a player who hit eight homers for them vs. 98—and counting—for his new team.  We traded Semien and three others for Jeff Smardzija, now of the Giant.  Gosh, do you think SF would consider trading Smardzija straight up for Semien?

A good front office has to be able to judge talent.  GM Rick Hahn wasn’t up to the task, again (see Fernando Tatis Jr. for yet another painful example).  Imagine what we could get for Semien now.  Check that, imagine what a good GM could get for Semien coming off a 30+ homer season.

Which brings us to Narvaez.  A Narvaez-McCann platoon behind the plate would translate into something like 39 homers and 112 RBIs from the catching position.  Instead, Hahn stuck with Welington Castillo.  Oh, well, it could be worse, and I’m figuring it will be.  The Sox have helped mess up Daniel Palka, who’s gone from 27 homers his first season here to two hits total his next.

He gone, as the Hawk would say.  And he’ll go deep against us, too.  Of that you can be assured.       

Perchance, To Suffer

The headline for the website /Pravda story read, “White Sox fall but show plenty of fight.”  I guess they didn’t want to go with “Sox bullpen coughs up lead—twice—in extra innings.”  Why go all negative in a rebuild year?  Why?  Because the truth will set you free, my friends.  The truth will set you free.

The first such admission is that the Sox have no organizational pitching depth.  Lucas Giolito can’t start, so he gets replaced with Ross Detwiler.  Giolito is the light, Detwiler the dark; Giolito summer and Detwiler winter.  You get the idea.  Detwiler lasted five innings against the Twins, giving up five runs to push his ERA to 6.98 on the season.

But like the headline said, the Sox fought back; Zack Collins and Adam Engel even went back-to-back.  Not only did the Sox tie the score, they had bases loaded with one out in the tenth, Engel up.  And what does manager Rick Renteria do?  He pinch-hits for Engel.  Nothing like a popup from Ryan Goins to get the old juices flowing, right, Rick?  Why not try the suicide with Engel, especially since the speedy Yoan Moncada was on third?  Let the truth set you free, Rick.

Along those lines, explain why you went with Jose Ruiz in the 12^th inning with the Sox up by two.  Here’s what Ruiz did: single, double, strikeout, two-run single, single, single, walk-off hit-by-pitch.  After the fourth base hit, pitching coach Don Cooper trotted out to the mound.  Which of the three things Cooper knows did he impart on Ruiz?  Tell the truth, Don.

And, since we’re in truth-and-reconciliation mode here, could you tell us, Rick, your future plans for Ruiz, with his 5.87 ERA and WHIP at 2.01?  In his last two appearances, Ruiz has walked in the winning run and hit a batter to accomplish the same.  Now, tell the truth, Rick.  When you said, “I don’t want to lose anymore,” that was just a big fib, right?

Just Desserts, or not

One of the realities of life in and around Chicago is that the local media suffers from 24/7 Bears’ fever, oh, 300 or so days a year.  Nothing, and I mean nothing, gets in the way of heaps of coverage.  All other professional teams that call this place home ignore this reality at their own risk.  I swear the White Sox ignore the obvious.

What a 65-85 record means, then, is next to non-existent coverage come September.  Turn away from the TV for a second, and you’ll miss any mention of Chicago’s other baseball team; step into the pantry for a can of soup, and you won’t hear mention of the South Siders on the radio.  Look anywhere else but the back page of sports for a story on the Sox, and you’ll be disappointed.

Yesterday, the Tribune was all agog over the Bears’ Eddie Pinero kicking the winning field goal against Denver with time expiring.  No place for the Sox on page one, or two, or three, or four, or five, or six, or seven.  No, their special hell was reserved for page eight, a single column to run a wire story in.  But, hey, it could be worse.

The WNBA Sky made the playoffs for the fifth time in seven years, an accomplishment that would probably have to be explained to Sox GM Rick Hahn.  On Sunday, they had the bad fortune of losing in the second round against the Las Vegas Aces, 93-92, due to a turnover with seconds left that led to an improbable Las Vegas three-pointer.   

The story, if 5-1/2 single-column inches counts as a story, ran beneath the Sox piece.  That’s what happens in a football town.

Don't Worry. Be Happy

White Sox manager Rick Renteria told the Athletic today, “I don’t want to lose anymore.  I want to win.”  Renteria sure has a funny way of showing it.

In the bottom of the tenth inning, the Mariners’ Omar Narvaez (remember him?  He’s hitting .279 with 21* homeruns) lined a ball that hit off the top of the wall in right and bounced back onto the field of play.  Most everyone, including the Seattle broadcast crew excerpted on the MLB website, thought it was a double.  The umpires ruled it a home run, then hesitated, then ruled it a homerun.

At some point, rebuilding teams want to establish a winning culture.  The manager in this instance should’ve gone all Billy Martin/Earl Weaver, kicking up a storm the instant Narvaez moved off of second base.  Yesterday, MLB issued a statement apologizing for the “miscommunication [between umpires and Renteria that] resulted in not reviewing the home-run call on the field.”  If the manager had been doing his job and fighting to win a ballgame, the umpires would’ve been made to focus their attention, pronto.

Then, yesterday, in what was a 10-5 Sox lead going into the bottom of the eighth, Renteria had Hector Santiago go out after pitching 3.2 innings of scoreless relief.  Renteria kept Santiago in after a leadoff single followed by a walk followed by another single.  Only then did  he change pitchers.  Out of the frying pan and into the fire they went with Kelvin Herrera on the mound.  I say this because Herrera already had given up six homers in just 44.1 innings of work.  Boom.  Make that seven.  Not long afterward, the five-run lead turned into a tie.

Not to worry, because the top of the Sox order is up against 28-year old journeyman Austin Adams.  Guess what?  Adams struck out the side—Tim Anderson, Yoan Moncada and Jose Abreu—on eleven pitches.  Anderson and Moncada went down on three pitches apiece and moped their ways back to the dugout in what would’ve made me go ballistic if I ever caught my daughter doing that.  Abreu, bless him, is a professional who at least worked the count and didn’t look like a child afterwards.

As for the bottom of the ninth, Jose Ruiz pitched.  Oh, and he walked in the winning run, but you might expect that of someone with a 5.21 ERA.  Funny—or sad, depending—how four out of the five relievers the Sox used had ERAs in excess of 4.5 (ditto starter Ivan Nova).  As my friend Forrest might say, losing baseball is as losing baseball does, from the front office down to the dugout.  But, hey, it’s a rebuild, and nothing counts.  Don’t worry.  Be happy.

So Far From Buffalo

I wonder if, in his nine seasons as an NFL receiver, Don Beebe ever thought he’d be pacing the sidelines as a college head coach?  In any of his five Superbowl appearances, did Beebe ever sense he’d be spending a Saturday afternoon in Elmhurst with his Aurora University Spartans facing off against the Bluejays?  I wonder.

I can’t say I saw Beebe dominating the Aurora side of the field; he stands just 5’11”, a normal size like most of the Elmhurst players.  But his team definitely dominated to the tune of 48-22.  Does it help recruiting to have a former NFL player as your coach?  Are players more inclined to listen to someone who raced downfield in Super Bowl XXVII to strip the ball from the Cowboys’ Leon Lett before Lett could reach the end zone? I’d hazard a guess on both questions, Yes.

It was a day to appreciate small blessings—blue sky, steady breeze out of the west, an occasional sack or fumble recovery by the home team.  The company was nice, too, what with Assistant FBI Director Skinner sitting next to me for the second time in four days.  Clare mentioned that one of the softball teams pulled out of the National Pro Fastpitch League.  She doesn’t see how the NPF can survive.  The league will be down to five franchises, with two of them basically for members of the Chinese and Canadian teams.

Did Don Beebe ever think he’d be coaching a college game where two spectators were busy talking 12-inch softball?  I wonder. 

Jabberwocky

Jabberwocky

Earlier this week, Cubs’ president Theo Epstein gave a radio interview in which he said, “You want to put out a team…that gets the most out of its ability.  We clearly haven’t done that.  It’s immensely frustrating to me.  I feel that responsibility on behalf of our fans that are watching us.”  Epstein made these remarks with his team ten games above .500 (and eleven as we speak) and fighting for a wildcard spot.  If they succeed, the Cubs will be appearing in the postseason for the fifth straight year.

In today’s Tribune, White Sox manager Rick Renteria was quoted, “We are trying to win.  I know there’s still refining to do, but I’ll be honest with you, we are finishing this season, we are talking about coming into next season ready to battle.  Period.  Exclamation point.” Renteria spoke a day before his team moved to seventeen games under .500 with a win in Seattle.  The Sox have not been in the postseason since 2008 and have not finished above .500 since 2012.  That’s seven straight years for anyone who’s counting, although only three years into the official team rebuild.

So, Sox fans, who would you want speaking for your team, Theo or Rick/Rick?  

The Wrong Sox

Dave Dombrowski guides the Red Sox to a championship in 2018 and gets fired not even eleven months later.  Rick Hahn clinches his seventh straight year as White Sox general manager without reaching .500, and he looks to have the job for life.  What am I missing?

Does Hahn get a perpetual pass because he traded for Lucas Giolito, who struck out eight straight Royals’ batters yesterday?  Does the pass extend to pitching coach Don Cooper, who couldn’t keep Giolito from giving up two mammoth homeruns in a 6-3 loss?  I’m afraid we all know the answer to that question.

By my count, Cooper knows maybe three things (and what fun it would be to guess what they are.  Maybe the cable people could run a contest to take the place of that “authentic fan” nuisance.).  Consider that in two games with Giolito and Reynaldo Lopez pitching, Kansas City hitter launched—and I do mean launched—seven balls out of the park.  I say Sox pitchers are tipping their pitches.

What say you, Don?  And Rick?  What say you?  

Present and Past

Wrigley Field is a true urban ballpark, or was.  It sits smack dab in the middle of a city neighborhood, or what used to be a city neighborhood.  The surrounding area known as Wrigleyville feels more like those new mall developments that try to recreate city life, if only everyone drove a Tesla or Land Rover.  Wrigley has become a variation on Cheers, where everyone looks the same.

Guaranteed Rate Whatever is a mallpark dropped in the middle of a city neighborhood, my neighborhood, or my father’s, actually.  The White Sox will forever be identified with Bridgeport, and that will always leave them with a tint of blue.  I guess that would make the Sox Chicago’s team of color.

The old Bridgeport that I knew from visits with my father to see his mother still exists in pockets.  Houses aren’t sold as much as passed on, and vacancies are filled by word of mouth.  But Irish and Polish Bridgeport has made space for Chinese and Hispanic residents, and millennials, both the hip and the gentrifier.  Motorized rickshaws never used to work their way along 35^th Street.  They do now.  As for all those Divvy ports, I can only imagine what my dad would say.

These were among the observations I had driving to the park yesterday for what had to suffice as our family tradition of going to the last home game of the season; Assistant FBI Director Skinner’s schedule won’t allow it this year.  So, we settled on a Wednesday night game against the Royals, the temperature at game time around 80 degrees.  Did I mention that the Royals hit four homeruns off of Reynaldo Lopez?  They did.

But it’s the small pleasures you come to live for, posing for the family selfie; doing play-by-play with your daughter; honoring your father by eating at the park only because it’s dollar hotdog night.  Clare said she envied the ball boy, who warmed up Eloy Jimenez between innings.  “I’ve got my glove in the car,” sighed the assistant director, “but I don’t think they’ll let me come back in.”  A pity.

We had really good seats, second row from the field, maybe thirty feet back of third base.  Twice foul balls came our way, and both times father and child tried to get one.  Lo and behold, they did, only it was a different dad and kid.  The first time, the man behind us spilled a little of his beer on his son, a boy all of four in a dinosaur tee-shirt.  The second time, dad snared the ball and immediately handed it to his son. 

By the look of wonder on the boy’s face, Christmas had come early, and not even Assistant FBI Director Skinner cared to disagree.

On Further Review...

Immaturity is the buzzkill of professional sports:  Odell Beckham Jr. wearing a $190,000 while lining up to catch a pass, any ballplayer “pimping” a homerun, even those that aren’t.  I need a hero, not a clown.

All of which brings us to White Sox left fielder Eloy Jimenez, who hit his first-ever grand slam last night against the Royals.  For the umpteenth time this season, Jimenez waved to the camera after getting back to the dugout and mouthed the words “Hi, Mom” for the camera.  This routine got old for me a long time ago, until yesterday.  Watching Jimenez celebrate, yet again, I now think he was being serious, if such a thing is possible for a man-child.

Jimenez  doesn’t exactly have the demeanor of Dick Butkus, and why should he?  They’re two different human beings, the one perpetually joyful the other a stand-in for the Grim Reaper.  I worry about innocence existing in the face of bald commerce; after all, things didn’t go well for Roy Hobbs.  But if the real Eloy Jimenez is the one with the ready smile rather than the Butkus-ian death glare, it falls on the White Sox to protect their rookie star and ensure that he matures without ever becoming buzzkill.

There’s more than enough of that going around already.

Not a Hahn Thing to Do

With infielders Javy Baez and Addison Russell injured, the Cubs have called up their number-one prospect, shortstop Nico Hoerner.  Taken in the first round of the 2018 Draft, Hoerner spent the season at Double-A Tennessee.

Putting so young a player on the major-league roster in September is not how the White Sox do things.  No, General Manager Rick Hahn would’ve waited until next year, late April, to be exact.  Top Sox prospects—and I mean no disrespect to Danny Mendick, who I hope has a long major-league career—do not get rushed to fill the breech.  Oh, they used to (see Alex Fernandez and Frank Thomas), but that was long ago, when the Sox played meaningful Septembers.

In seven years under Hahn, his teams have never played a meaningful September, and, unless they make up a seventeen-game deficit, will never have finished at .500 or above.  But hats off to Hoerner, who went three for five with four RBIs and a triple in his big-league debut last night against the Padres.  Maybe Nick Madrigal and Luis Robert can match that come next April, late April, of course.   

The 5'11" and Under Club

There are grinder success stories in the NFL and NBA, no doubt.  Athletes can beat the odds whatever the sport.  It’s just that 300-pound lineman and 6’6” point guards don’t look like the average Joe (or Jane).  Thank heavens for baseball.

According to yesterday’s box scores, rookie Nick Solak, the pride of Naperville North, had himself a very nice day with the Rangers.  The 5’11” Solak went three for four with four RBIs to raise his average to .328, which ain’t bad.  In fact, it’s almost as good as Danny Mendick’s .357.

Granted, the 5’10” Mendick has only batted fourteen times with the White Sox in September, but he already has his first career homerun, that coming yesterday against the Angels.  In a postgame interview, Mendick offered that his baseball journey has been “surreal,” taking him from junior college to the University of Massachusetts-Lowell to 22^nd round draft pick by the Sox and now to the bigs.  Mendick says surreal, I say heartwarming.

And let’s not forget 5’10” Mike Brosseau, the pride of Munster, IN, by way of Oakland University outside Detroit; Brosseau has himself six homers to go with a .282 average.  Last and least only on account of his .229 BA is 5’11” Nicky Lopez out of Naperville Central.  The Royals are giving Lopez a shot at second base.  Right now, his defense is further along than his offense.  Here’s hoping the hitting comes along.

Here’s a grinder’s dream—the above four someday playing in the All-Star Game.  Wouldn’t that drive the analytics’ crowd crazy?

The CCIW

I often wonder how much of the CCIW (College Conference of Illinois and Wisconsin) rubbed off on Assistant FBI Director Skinner, aka my daughter Clare.  Why?  Because the CCIW has produced some interesting athletes since its beginnings in 1946.

For openers, there’s former center Jack Sikma, just inducted into the NBA Hall of Fame; Sikma played for Elmhurst rival Illinois Wesleyan.  So did Doug Rader of the Astros.  Quarterback Kenny Anderson went from Augustana (where the softball field was bordered by a rocky bluff on one end and railroad tracks on thet oother) the Super Bowl with the Bengals.  And let’s not forget Wheaton College, which pretty much claims to have sent half a million football players to the pro ranks.

Part of the CCIW’s mystique, if you will, is that it’s D-III sports; nobody’s playing their game for anything but love.  Mix that with a chip-on-the-shoulder attitude of players who could’ve been D-I but for some reason weren’t; Assistant Director Skinner definitely fits into that category as someone who was invited to walk on at two D-I programs.  I’ve seen football and softball games where the intensity matches anything ESPN televises on a Saturday afternoon, with players just as skilled (if not at every position).  Clare holds a number of offensive records at Elmhusrt.  Because of the conference, that counts for something.

Too bad female athletes don’t get the same kind of chance to turn pro the way male athletes do.  That would really add to the CCIW’s already oversized reputation.

He Fades Back to Pass...

This really dates me, but what the hell.  It was either 1967 or ’68, when Jim Ninowski backed up Sonny Jurgensen with the Redskins.  My guess is the game 11-28-68 against the Redskins.  Ninowski started and threw for 280 yards.  Or it could have been the next week when he came in to relieve Jurgensen against Cleveland or the week before at Philadelphia or even the last game of the seasons vs. the Lions.  Take your pick.

Anyway, Ninowski faced third-and-30.  I remember—or think I do—because it struck me as an absolutely impossible amount of yardage to gain on one play.  But guess what?  Ninowski pulled it off.

Then again, he had receivers like Charley Taylor and Jerry Smith to throw to.  There’s nobody of that caliber on the Bad News Bears.  First-and-40, who ya gonna call?  Pat O’Donnell, the punter, that’s who.

Choose One

I like baseball over football, always have and always will.  Give me the sublime over the ferocious, or pretentious, any day.  Yesterday offered plenty of reasons why.

As an organization, the White Sox are desperate to show their rebuild is working.  Forget the team being 62-78, GM Rick Hahn and company tell their fans, trust us, trust the process.  Even doubters like yours truly can be made to believe, sort of.

In his previous start, Dylan Cease gave up eight runs in two innings.  Tuesday night in Cleveland, Cease struck out eleven Indians in 6.2 innings of an eventual Sox win.  In his previous start, Reynaldo Lopez couldn’t get out of the first inning.  Yesterday, he threw his first-ever complete game, a 7-1 one-hitter against the Tribe.

And let’s not forget Danny Mendick, the 22^nd-rounder who won’t let you forget him.  Mendick went two for three in Cleveland yesterday.  How many ballplayers can say their first hit in the major leagues was a two-strike bunt?  Mendick can.

This is the kind of stuff that keeps a baseball fan interested.  I mean, I don’t like the Cubs, but hats off to Kyle Schwarber.  How can you hate a guy like Schwarber?  He’s challenged defensively and tempted by everything in the refrigerator.  That said, he’s made himself into an adequate left fielder and kept a whole lot of weight off the past two seasons.  Schwarber has also hit 34 homeruns this season, including a grand slam in last night’s win over the Brewers.  The man with the beer-leagues’ physique is a big part of the reason the Cubs are still contending for a wild-card spot if not the lead in the NL Central Division.

And then we have the Bears, all hype and little bite.  Everywhere you look or go, it’s Bears, Bears, Bears.  Move over, ’85, for Super Bowl Shuffle 2.0.  Only Aaron Rodgers and the Packers beat the home team 10-3 last night at Soldier Field.  Some offense.  Some defense.

Head coach Matt Nagy does a mean imitation of Inspector Gadget, only that stuff grows old after a while.  And Nagy seems afraid to give quarterback Mitch Trubisky free reign, for better or worse.  Once nice thing about all the hype, though, is the reaction to defeat.  You get what you reap, even if you happen to be a football team owned by the McCaskey family.

So, let the name calling and finger pointing commence.  I get to follow Danny Mendick for another three weeks.   

What Might Have Been

Addict, gawker, masochist—I can’t help myself.  I try not to watch the White Sox, only to end up sitting in front of the TV and watching in disbelief.

Among other things, I can tell you that Bad Ivan Nova is back in a big way.  Last night, Nova gave up six runs on eleven hits in just 4.1 innings; throw in a little Josh Osich, and the score stood at 8-2 Cleveland going into the eighth inning.  Then Jose Abreu hit a two-run homer, and Tim Anderson did likewise in the ninth.  Eventually, the Sox loaded the bases in the ninth but couldn’t score.

There are all sorts of positive takeaways for an “authentic fan” like in the ads.  Abreu really is having a B+ year with 29 homers and 106 RBIs.  Ditto Anderson with his .331 BA, this despite walking all of eleven times in 417 at-bats.  Even the big baby looks to have turned a corner.  Or maybe we should refer to Eloy Jimenez as Babe.  Either way, Jimenez has his BA up to .255 to go with 24 homers and 57 RBIs in just 385 at-bats.

Going into the ninth inning, Jimenez already had two hits on the night.  With the bases loaded, he worked the count from 0-2 to full.  And then he hit the ball, a rocket over the head of center fielder Oscar Mercado.  What should have been a bases-clearing double or triple instead turned into an over-the-shoulder diving grab by Mercado.  But you have to like how Jimenez approached the at-bat, sensing the game was on the line and creaming the ball.  That’s what gaining experience does for a player.

Now, here’s the thing.  Leury Garcia had a terrible game in center for the Sox, looking terrible on four balls that came his way, three for hits; Mercado provided a tutorial on how to play the position.  Too bad it was only for Garcia’s benefit.

Imagine if Luis Robert had been there in the ninth inning to see Jimenez’s at-bat and Mercado’s catch.  Seeing is believing is learning, if only my wreck of a team dared think so.

Shop and Compare

Assistant FBI Director Skinner called last night to discuss the White Sox call-ups.  (In case you’re wondering, Clare got a big promotion at work, to assistant director of something, and what better way to celebrate than a new nickname that combines the formal title with Clare’s longstanding dislike of my TV tastes, including the X-Files?)  The assistant director was happy to see Daniel Palka back from Triple A, if not quite the dead.

Of course, Luis Robert and Nick Madrigal, the two most-ready-for-big-league-action-now prospects, were not part of the mix.  From high-A to the bigs in just one season would be asking too much of the kids, said a concerned Sox GM Rick Hahn.  Service time had nothing to do with it, Hahn also told reporters.  Whatever.

Among the call-ups is catcher/first baseman Zack Collins, a first-round pick taken by the Sox in 2016, tenth overall and ten ahead of infielder Gavin Lux for the Dodgers.  Lux hails from that mysterious land known as Wisconsin, which apparently does not appear on any maps or GPS systems used by Sox scouts.  Better yet, Lux is the nephew of the baseball coach at Carthage College of the good old CCIW.  Who knows, maybe we saw Lux without knowing it on one of our trips to Wisconsin to see Clare and Elmhurst square off against Carthage.  Of course, that would’ve depended on Lux’s high school varsity schedule at the time.

In two stints with the Sox totaling ten games, Collins is hitting .103 with a homerun and three RBIs.  In two games with the Dodgers, Lux is three for nine with three runs scored.  You can see why the Sox wouldn’t be having any second thoughts about who they drafted.  The Sox never have second thoughts, if any.     

Long, Dark Tunnel in Serach of a Little Light

After yesterday’s 11-3 humiliation in Cleveland, the White have themselves a seven-game losing streak, all against teams likely to make the postseason.  Has there ever been an organization more in need of new ownership and direction?

This is what the purported rebuild gave Sox fans on Labor Day—a game started by Ross Detwiler, who made it to two outs in the third inning; that translated into four earned runs and a 6.79 ERA on the season.  Next on the mound was former first-round draft pick Carson Fulmer; two earned runs in two innings gives Fulmer a 5.66 ERA, which isn’t nearly as bad as Manny Bvanuelos’.  Four runs in an inning of work leaves Banuelos with a 7.52 ERA.

That should be good enough to earn him a start.

Just a Matter of Trust and Time

The nice thing about September is that, when it ends, so will the seventh consecutive sub-.500 season for the White Sox, not to be confused with year three of the rebuild.  If the last six games are an accurate indicator, the Sox have a strong shot at eight straight years come next September.  What that says about the rebuild, you be the judge.

Right now, three games against the first-place Twins and three games against the first-place Braves equal a six-game losing streak going into Cleveland.  Not only is my favorite team losing, they’re losing bad, to the tune of being outscored by 24 runs during the steak.  No pop, no pitching, but that just means good draft position come next June, right, Rick?

Here’s what will drive loyal Sox fans to despair.  GM Hahn and manager Rick Renteria have both indicated that no decisions have been made about September call-ups because of Triple-A Charlotte’s playoff chances.  Wow, I didn’t know that was something to worry about.  So, all the guys in Charlotte have to stay there for the push to make the postseason.  But wait.

The Sox just activated pitchers Manny Banuelos and Carson Fulmer from the IL.  Doesn’t Charlotte need them?  Maybe Charlotte doesn’t want them, Fulmer with a 4.76 ERA in the minors, Banuelos with a 6.90 ERA for the Sox.

Yup, the rebuild looks like it’ll extend well into the next decade.