Truth in Advertising

My favorite part of March Madness were those self-serving commercials the NCAA loves to run, about the student-athletes who get out of bed at five in the morning to work on the balance beam and then stay up past midnight to tackle the big paper.  What a joke.  What about a commercial showing a different bunch of NCAA athletes, the ones who get stinking Saturday-night drunk and/or sport neck tattoos?  The camera could zoom in to show “Citius-Altius-Fortius” inked in Latin across an adam’s apple.

For no particularly sane reason, I’ve volunteered to score the Elmhurst softball games this spring.  Yesterday, we traveled to North Park College on the northwest side of Chicago.  Two teams played before a crowd of 34 people.  Where was the NCAA to film the kids showing their love of the game in the 41-degree chill and mist? 

Today, Michele and I are driving up to Madison to watch Valpo take on the U of W (a nice working definition of parental love, that).  The crowd may be a little bigger, but I don’t expect to show up in the background of another student-athlete promo.  The NCAA only cares about its image when commercial time is at a premium.  That’s next to never in D III and not often in D-I women’s sports.  For that matter, baseball doesn’t draw a whole lot of attention, either.  And that’s just fine by me.  Leave the hypocrisy for the big and the tall.

1968 Deja Vu

After the White Sox lost the American League pennant by all of three games, they made a series of offseason moves highlighted by trades for Luis Aparicio and Tommy Davis.  (Note: Don Buford and Tommie Agee, the traded-away Sox, would face one another in the 1969 World Series).  There would be no stopping the South Siders in 1968, which turned out to be true for all the wrong reasons.  The Sox dropped the season opener 9-0 before a home crowd of less than 7800 fans on their way to ten straight losses and 85 more that year.

This offseason, the Sox made a number of moves, not the least of which was acquiring righty starter Jeff Smardzija, who started the season opener against the Royals in Kansas City.  Smardzija gave up five runs and the new if not improved bullpen added another five-spot for a 10-1 smack-down.  If Sox fans weren’t fatalists by nature, this would be really depressing.   

Keeping Tabs

Clare and I are both interested in White Sox rookie second baseman Micah Johnson.  According to today’s Tribune, this is how Johnson reacted to the news he’d be starting on Opening Day against the Royals—he called his parents and his high school coach and then personally thanked his minor league coaches.  “I didn’t make this on my own,” admitted the 24-year old.  “It was God and those guys.”  Well said.

Johnson took college classes in the offseason, knows Spanish and French, and is thinking of attending law school as a way to prepare for a post-playing career in somebody’s front office.  This is what I call a role model, and my daughter agrees.  Now, we cross our fingers in the hope that performance matches potential.   

Justice

In February, Angels’ outfielder Josh Hamilton admitted in public that he’d had a relapse.  Hamilton suffers the double curse of cocaine and alcohol addictions so bad they nearly derailed his career.  Even after he’d cleaned himself up with the Rangers, Hamilton twice fell off the wagon, as they used to say, but neither episode led to a full-on relapse.

Yesterday, an arbitrator ruled that Hamilton would not be subject to suspension.  The five-time All-Star is still following his treatment program, which appears to have carried a lot of weight with the arbitrator.  “Oops” must have trumped binge, to the benefit of Hamilton.

Only the Angels wish it hadn’t.  The team said in a statement it was “disappointed” in Hamilton, who has pretty much been a bust two years into a five-year $125 million contract.  Gosh, who held a gun to their heads to sign a 32-year old player with a history of addiction?  Really, you get what you pay for in life, and sports.

All Lines are Open

 I got out of the car yesterday afternoon with the radio turned to the White Sox game and came back to a call-in show.  Apparently, Joe Blow from Schaumburg was upset with Cubs’ spring-training sensation Kris Bryant, who said he was “disappointed” at not making the Opening Day roster.  In some parts, “old school” means a rookie is better seen and not heard.

In a way, you can’t blame fans for feeling frustrated.  They can vote to put players on the All-Star team but have no say—other than boycotting games—on the direction of their favorite team.  So, they vent, oftentimes to hosts who believe their role in life is to mock all of the human race, or at least that portion calling in.  It’s not pretty, we deserve better, and we ought to act better whether or not we get it.

Besides, why make your phone carrier any richer?     

Bus Trip, Anyone?

Growing up, Clare loved the movie, “A League of Their Own.”  I doubt that’s changed much since sixth grade.  If I had a dollar for every time someone in our household said, “There’s no crying in baseball,” well, what a wealthy family we would all be.

The bus scenes were probably the one part of the movie that never registered with my daughter right.  Then came high school with the occasional 45-minute ride, followed by twice-a-year two hour drives in college to a CCIW opponent.  Now, the girl has gone and graduated to the bigtime, three hours one way to Indianapolis with Valpo facing off against Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis, or “OO-E-POO-E” as those in the know like to say.

Long story short, Valpo dropped both games and then got caught in traffic on the way home.  A bus ride isn’t as much fun without Tom Hanks or Madonna onboard.  Of course, you could always stream the movie on your device of choice.  Just saying.

What's the Rush?

Tonight, ESPN will broadcast the 38^th McDonald’s All-American Boys Game from the United Center.  The game features the best graduating high school players in the country.  Some, or many of them, will never earn a college degree, but no matter.  ESPN will also be doing the girls’ game, on one of its lesser outlets.

I’m supposed to care about the game because it features local product Jalen Brunson, a 6-foot-2 shooting guard.  Talk about pressure.  At the size, Brunson has to shoot—and score—in his sleep, let alone college (Villanova) if he wants to make the NBA.  Who came up with the idea of showing teenagers at play, anyhow?

Oh, right.  ESPN also gave us the Little League World Series.  That worked out great, except for when the Chicago team was stripped of the U.S. title.  Maybe we should wait until our kids get into college to put them on TV.