Clueless in East Lansing

Ex-NU head football coach Pat Fitzgerald is taking over as head coach of the Spartans after being hired this week following the dismissal of coach Jonathan Smith. If I were a parent looking to keep my football-playing son out of someplace where hazing might occur, the Spartans would top my list of programs to avoid. Fitgerald told the media yesterday, “We [will] develop our young men as people, as students and as world-class athletes. This will happen through a values-based approach.” [all quotes from story in today’s Tribune] Fitzgerald did not bother to enumerate those values, which seemed to be missing in the locker room at NU. Like Sgt. Schultz on “Hogan’s Heroes,” Fitzgerald knew nothing, saw nothing. In other words, a football program based on the three wise monkeys. If we’re to believe Fitzgerald, the hazing scandal at NU affected him deeply. “The experience has made me a better leader, a better man, a better husband, a better father and a better coach. And it has reinforced my commitment to creating an environment that’s going to be built on trust, discipline, communication and accountability.” None of which, I would argue, was present during Fitgerald’s seventeen years as head coach at NU.

Bookish

You can never have too many books, I always say. Especially if they’re about the White Sox. For a while, I’ve wanted The Go-Go Chicago White Sox by Tribune sportswriter Dave Condon, who also did the “In the Wake of the News” column. Growing up, I read Condon all the time, and every so often the byline belonged to his daughter, Barbara. If memory serves, she’d start off by saying she was twelve before moving on to the subject of the column that day. The thing is, the prose didn’t read like it belonged to a twelve-year old. Anyway, Condon wrote the Go-Go book in 1959, a time when Chicago could go crazy for teams other than the Bears. It was a history of the franchise that went up to the six-game heartbreak of the 1959 World Series loss to the Dodgers. Condon made sure to include the players before Nellie Fox and Luis Aparicio, like Smead Jolley, who once made three errors on a play, and Jackie Hayes, an infielder whose eye infection led to blindness. A fan should know these things and the players they happened to. I bought a copy on eBay last week; it cost all of $7, considerably less than other copies I’d seen for sale. The book arrived yesterday, along with a mystery: Where is Pretty Prairie High School, whose library had the book, carrying a Dewey Decimal number of 796.357? Why, Pretty Prairie, KS, of course. Located in south-central Kansas, Pretty Prairie is home to some 660 people, down 20 from an all-time high of 680 per the 2010 Census. No one seems to have taken the book out since 1964, which helps explain how it got to be deaccessioned. Pretty Prairie’s loss is my gain, thank you, very much. Among those he thanked in the dedication, Condon mentioned the “late Mrs. Grace Comiskey, who was and always will be baseball’s first lady.” Different times, perfect to recall on a snowy day in early December.

Appearances

I’m the kind of person who believes in keeping up appearances—dress nice, don’t fight with the spouse in public, that sort of thing. College football is a whole different world. Ole Miss coach Lane Kiffin accepted the head-coaching job at LSU but wanted to finish out the year with his current team, most likely bound for a postseason playoff berth. Nope, said the Ole Miss athletic director, maybe a little ticked that $9 million a year wasn’t enough to keep his coach, not when LSU offered a reported $13 million, totaling $91 million over seven years. Oh, and Louisiana governor Jeff Landry was busy behind the scenes making sure the old LSU athletic director was shown the door so a bright, new age could be ushered in. Louisiana, Mississippi—states where poverty goes to cut its teeth, and yet college coaches there can rack in the big bucks. Appearances be damned.

P-U

If a stopped clock gets the time right twice a day, then a sports’ sage such as yours truly can get things wrong every so often, too. And was I wrong about these Chicago Bulls. After a nice 5-0 start, this softer-than-soft group has demonstrated a bizarre ability to lose to bad teams, like Monday to the two-win Pelicans; Friday to the four-win Hornets; and last night on a buzzer-beater to the three-win Pacers. P-U barely scratches the surface. Last night, no Chicago player scored more than seventeen points. The Bulls lost basically because they couldn’t shoot free throws, going 9-for-16 at the line. Not good in a two-point loss. What to do? In the ideal world, clean house in the front office, which means firing Arturas Karnisovas. Then, start trading some of the hundred guards on the roster. Then, see what you have. Would I keep Billy Donovan as coach? I love the guy, but I don’t know if anyone is listening anymore. Did I mention firing Karnisovas?

On the Bandwagon, Reluctantly

It would appear the Bears, after their Black-Friday, 24-15 win over the Eagles in Philadelphia, are for real. As a Chicago fan, I root for them, if reluctantly. A year ago on Black Friday, the Bears’ front office screwed up the firing of Matt Eberflus, and 365 days later they have a coach in Ben Johnson who Jon Greenberg in today’s The Athletic says, “Twelve games into his first season, it’s clear that he is underpaid.” At $13 million a year? Yeah, right. Yesterday, the Bears dominated time of possession—39:18 to 20:42—by running the ball. Yesterday was the first time in 40 years that two Bears’ runners—D’Andre Swift and rookie Kyle Monangai—combined for 200+ yards in a game. Holy Payton. That’s just how the McCaskeys like it, turning back the clock to Red Grange as much as circumstances allow. I wonder what quarterback Caleb Williams thinks about that. I guess my real problem with the Bears’ success involves the Chicago media. Everybody seems ready to outdo Greenberg, that or turn reporting into a quarterly financial report. In today’s online Tribune, Brad Biggs wrote, “Philadelphia wants to play in a two-high shell,” to which I say, Huh? Wait, there’s more. Biggs described Williams’ touchdown pass to Cole Kmet as a “boot concept to the non-throwing arm side, a three-level flood.” Huh? Whatever happened to sportswriting a la Red Smith, as a form of writing that verged on literature? Now, back to Poles, who’s never exactly exhibited the Midas Touch as GM. Until this year, his draft picks have been hit-or-miss and his free-agent signings mostly miss. But he’s done everything right since hiring Johnson back in February. Monangai,; receiver Luther Burden III; and tight end Colston Loveland constitute what has to be the best Bears’ draft in at least a decade while the free-agent signings of guard Joe Thuney and center Drew Dalman have helped transform the offensive line; some signings on the other side of the ball have also upgraded the defense. Is it lightning in a bottle like the 2018 Bears were under first-yar coach Matt Nagy, or is yesterday proof of an organizational reset? Time will tell. For now, enjoy. The Packers are up next.

Broken-clock Right

One of my favorite sayings is, even a broken clock gets the time right twice a day. As evidence, I give you Alex Rodriguez. If Rodriguez has ever said anything of value or great truth, it slips my memory. That is, until he appeared on SeriusXM this week. Rodriguez mentioned Mark McGwire and Barry Bonds, who so far have failed to gain admittance into Cooperstown because voters have held real or alleged steroids’ use against them. “All of this stuff you’re talking about was under Bud Selig’s watch. The fact that those two guys are not in, but somehow, Bud Selig is in the Hall of Fame, that to me feels like there’s a little bit, some hypocrisy around that.” [quote in story appearing in The Athletic, 11-26-2025]. Thank you, broken clock. If Selig is in the HOF despite his years of playing the ostrich in the face of rampant MLB steroids’ abuse, then McGwire, Bonds, Rodriguez and others shouldn’t be penalized. But, if steroids’ use disqualifies a player, then knowledge of said use should disqualify Selig. What did the commissioner know, and when did he know it?

Gobble-gobble

Baseball is many things, but it is not a meritocracy. Not when you look at Dylan Cease’s new contract. The soon-to-be 30-year old starter is reported to have signed a seven-year deal with the Blue Jays worth $210 million. This after the righthander posted a 8-12 record with a 4.55 ERA for the Padres last season. On his career, Cease has 65 wins and 58 losses to go with a 3.88 ERA and three complete games out of 188 starts. It was once said that, “Chicks did the long ball.” GMs also dig strikeouts beyond reason. Cease has 1231 in 1015.1 innings pitched. This is a contract based more on that ratio than anything else. In comparison, the Red Sox committed highway robbery last season when they gave Garrett Crochet a six-year, $170 million extension (including an opt-out after year five). In either case, nice to be an ex-White Sox starter.