There's a Name for That

Until yesterday, if you’d asked me who’s the best quarterback in the NFL right now, my answer would’ve been Patrick Mahomes of the Chiefs, hands down. This morning, I’m not so sure. Against the visiting Bengals in the AFC Championship game, a GOAT went full gunslinger. With Kansas City up 21-10 in the closing seconds of the first half, Mahomes had second and goal from the one with five seconds left. The smart call—or at least the Monday morning quarterback call—would’ve been to kick a field goal. Instead, Mahomes threw what might best be described as a Bears’ sideline bubble left to Tyreek Hill, who was stopped short of the goal line. A shoutout hear to KC head coach Andy Reid, generally acknowledged as the reigning sideline great/genius. You sent that play in for your quarterback? The Chiefs managed all of three points in the second half and overtime. Still, in the closing seconds of regulation Mahomes had his team on the verge of a winning touchdown at the five-yard line, only to get sacked on consecutive plays while looking for someone to throw the ball to. Then, in overtime, he threw deep only to be intercepted, setting up the Bengals’ winning field goal. So, off that performance, I’d rate Mahomes right up there with Rex Grossman, which is not the sort of comparison I’d ever be expecting to make. I’ll give the 26-year old credit, though. He admitted after the game, “When you’re up 21-3, you can’t lose it. I put that on myself.” Gunslingers aren’t typically that self-aware. Or maybe a GOAT just didn’t have it on a sunny Sunday, late-January afternoon in Kansas City. More and more, I think things play out according to fate. That could be true for gunslingers and GOATS alike.

His Choice

Somewhere, Tom Brady is sitting in a beautiful house with his beautiful wife and children (que Talking Heads’ “Once in a Lifetime”). And he’s asking himself, Is it time? Not that he’ll read this, but Brady has a choice. He can go out on top, like Ted Williams, or hang on too long, like Willie Mays or Bart Starr. The 44-year old led the NFL in touchdown passes this season and by just about every metric comes out as the greatest quarterback of all time. Sorry, chuckleheads, but it’s true. Life in the NFL is a lot like walking in traffic. You can get away with it for a while, if you’re lucky. Brady’s been blessed with luck to match his talent. But there’s a truck out there, whether a linebacker, defensive end or safety, just waiting. David Byrne would know what to do. Brady should, too.

Change?

After reading two stories in today’s sports’ sections, I had to talk to Clare. Women are making inroads into baseball. Maybe. If six degrees of separation matter, then Clare has a really strong connection to the new White Sox director of minor-league operations. That’s because she and Jasmine Dunston were classmates in the same sports administration master’s program. And then we have Katie Krall of Park Ridge getting hired by the Red Sox as a player-development coach at Double-A Portland. “Wow!” exclaimed my daughter on hearing the news about her former classmate. She rightly pointed out that women weren’t getting these kinds of jobs five years ago, which is true. I just wonder what kind of jobs these are. Technically, Dunston’s hiring doesn’t involve breaking new ground because she’s replacing a woman in the same capacity. According to a March 2021 post on a blog run by the team, Grace Guerrero Zwit, Dunston’s predecessor, “impressed her peers by assisting with budgets for minor league affiliates, helping to write international prospect contracts, [and] introducing education programs for young players in the Dominican Republic, among other responsibilities.” To me, that kind of sounds like the role of women in the Catholic Church, heavy on responsibility, light on power. The same goes for player-development coach, but I could be wrong. Time will tell.

Same as the Old Boss?

Let’see. Old Bears’ GM Ryan hired Matt, a coordinator with no head coaching experience, to coach the Munsters. New GM Ryan hires Matt, a coordinator with no head coaching experience, to coach the Munsters. Do you see a pattern? I hope not. Unless the McCaskeys try to lowball their intended hire (and it’s happened), Colts’ defensive coordinator Matt Eberflus will take over from Matt Nagy at Halas Hall. If memory serves, Lovie Smith got the job after being a defensive coordinator for the Rams. Do you see a pattern? I hope not. Eberflus may be hiding his offensive talent under a bushel basket; I hope so. Because, if he isn’t, it’s going to be Lovie and Nagy, 2.0, with much ballyhooed moves on offense (think Jay Cutler and/or Brandon Marshall and/or Martellus Bennett and/or Allen Robinson and/or Trey Burton) adding up to absolutely nothing. But the defensively-reinvigorated Munsters will lead the league in turnover differential. Sorry, but if you don’t commit to throwing over the middle, you don’t win. Does hiring Eberflus show the Bears continue to exist in an alternative reality? I hope not, but I think so.

On the Clock

This is how Bears’ obsessed the Chicago media is—yesterday, a camera crew for one of the local TV stations followed new GM Ryan Poles as he started his first day of work at Halas Hall, at 5:30 AM. Really? What’s the point, that he works hard? Will he work harder than his predecessor, that other Ryan who was also in his thirties when the Bears hired him? If lack of time on the job was a factor, that’s your story, not chasing after someone in the January cold. All that matters is Poles getting it right. He appears close to hiring a head coach. We can only hope in the light of day that it’s somebody willing to throw the ball down the middle for as often as it takes to win.

Dodging Bullets

The daycare where baby Leo goes sent an email over the weekend that he may have been exposed to someone with COVID. They were right. My grandson, daughter and son-in-law have all come down with it. But we’re talking adults who’ve been vaccinated and boosted, so everyone seems to be doing OK. I know this in part from photos Clare sends every couple of hours of Leo smiling and/or playing on the floor. I also know this from the phone call I got from my daughter last night to discuss the HOF voting results. David Ortiz got in, Barry Bonds and Roger Clements didn’t. Ditto Sammy Sosa. This would pretty much be Clare’s ballot. She has next to no tolerance for PEDS’ users, which explains why she’s OK with Ortiz. “Next to” excuses Ortiz’s positive test in 2003, before MLB instituted a crackdown. Big Papi also benefits from the eye test. The extra weight he carried looked to be the product of never missing a meal, not playing with pharmaceuticals. And, as the man said, he never failed a drug test. Bonds, Clemens and Sosa now move on to the next phase, consideration by one or another old-timers’ committee. As Paul Sullivan noted in today’s Tribune, they could very well get in, once a younger generation of voters with a different take on PEDs is seated. But that doesn’t look to be anytime soon. And don’t let me forget to mention Curt Schilling; he’s also headed off the ballot and into old-timers’ limbo. That, or he’ll just stay under the rock where he’s hiding. What an interesting bunch of speeches, if and when they occur. Ortiz will do his best Big Papi while Jim Kaat and Tony Oliva should bring the requisite amount of “Gee whiz, we made it” to the festivities. Gil Hodges, Bud Fowler and Buck O’Neil will also get their due, I imagine. But not the PEDsters, which is good news for a child who happens to be a mother and a onetime player of the game of baseball.

Idiots

If today’s The Athletic is accurate, baseball ownership is dumb beyond belief. According to the story by Evan Drellich, deputy MLB commissioner Dan Halem said his side—management, which the commissioner’s office exists to serve faithfully and without question—is willing to sacrifice games on the regular-season schedule in order to secure concessions. Wait, there’s more. Rockies’ owner Dick Monfort allegedly complained about the pinch some owners are feeling these days, what with costs related to COVID and security. I feel your pain, guys. With inflation at a forty-year high, the costs of truffles and caviar are through the roof. This is what baseball does, scorch the earth in search of advantage over the other side. And when fans grow alienated, somebody comes up with a stupid idea like PEDS-fueled homerun races. Idiots.