Wrong Model

A few weeks ago, the English-made leather seat on my Schwinn got loose and refused to be tightened, at least by me, so I took it to my friendly Schwinn dealer on North Avenue. I always like it when people ooh and aah at my stuff. Going to the dealer is like watching a repeat of The X-Files. Not a spooky place but one run by three guys a la The Lone Gunmen; if you watched the series, you get the reference. Otherwise, think two brothers and a cousin or some other Beach Boys’ kind of connection that’s been going on for a very long time. When I mentioned to the big brother/cousin/Mike Love that I was toying with the idea of taking the plunge on a Schwinn Paramount, I said I wanted to upgrade from a Buick, and he corrected me. The difference between a Paramount and my Sports Tourer is the difference between a Corvette and a Cadillac, performance and comfort. Off of yesterday, I think he was right. I did 42 miles or so on the lakefront trail, this despite my Goldilocks’ rules when it comes to cycling. You couldn’t ask for clearer skies, but the temperature was closer to 60 than 70, and there was a steady wind out of the northeast. But wait too long in Chicago, and the weather can hit 100 or -10 in the blink of an eye. So, off I went. For a 52-year old bike, the Sports Tourer was pure joy to peddle. I’m pretty much a one-gear guy, and the ST has one that allowed me to make like the Energizer Bunny. Oh, going north required some effort, but whenever someone in spandex passed me, I had plenty of incentive to keep going. And the way back, let’s just say I was able to go from near the north end of Chicago down to Hyde Park on the South Side in record time. Could I have done better riding a Corvette? If only somebody would lend me one to try.

The Twilight Zone

Well, that was exciting, the White Sox waiting until two out in the bottom of the ninth to score a run, but Korey Lee’s homerun allowed the South Siders to avoid being shut out for the eleventh time this season. Oh, they still lost, 3-1 to the Blue Jays, but it’s the little victories that count, right? The loss puts the Sox at 15-42, on a pace to out-lose the ’62 Mets. A nice cool evening last night drew 11,599 fans to see the game. According to baseball-reference.com, the Sox are 28th in attendance, averaging 15,009 a game. Only the Marlins (12,584) and A’s (6,297) are worse. With a little effort, who knows? Any rational owner would have fired a manager with the worst winning percentage in franchise history by now, but not Jerry Reinsdorf. He keeps Mickey Mouse around to say things like “There’s no magic remedy here. The remedy here is you know what? Let’s get ready to work again in Milwaukee. That’s it” and “It’s about work. It’s about preparing, working. These guys are not afraid to sweat, not afraid to get after it. We have to continue to get after it. As far as the statistics and the history of this team and what we are doing, I’m not really focused on that. I’m focused on where we are at and where we gotta go.” [both quotes from today’s story on team website] If you can make sense of that last one, you’re better at deciphering gibber than I am. In his column in today’s Tribune, Paul Sullivan wrote “Grifol makes it impossible to feel sorry for him with his serial bootlicking and insistence that things really aren’t as bad as they seem.” Pretty strong words, if only Reinsdorf bothered to read them. And there’s no way to know if he watched the postgame show last night. If by some miracle he did, oh boy. Frank Thomas said it’s time to starting “DFAing” players to send a message while Ozzie Guillen picked up on Mouse’s preparation-mantra, pretty much saying preparation without the requisite talent is mostly a waste of time, only Ozzie said it better. Reinsdorf isn’t in the habit of accepting bad news or responsibility for failure. The thing is, it’s getting harder to avoid. Maybe he’s found a way to slip into the Twilight Zone and make friends with the gremlin that drove William Shatner crazy.

He Can Run, But He Can’t Hide

The White Sox are off to their worst-ever start (15-41, one worse than the ’62 Mets after 56 games) with their worst-ever manager for more than a cup of coffee. Mickey Mouse checks in with a .349 winning percentage after last night’s 7-2 loss to the Blue Jays. Flat or not? You be the judge. Deep down, Mouse must know how bad things are, which would explain the story in today’s Sun-Times. Mouse said he talks and texts with Jerry Reinsdorf on a regular basis and, “Nobody wants to win more than he does.” Mouse also called the Sox owner a “smart, smart business guy and baseball guy.” I don’t know what’s worse, Mouse saying it or believing it.

Change in the Air?

Is it possible the White Sox are finally reaching rock bottom after yesterday’s 5-1 loss to the Blue Jays? I hope so. Before the game, manager Mickey Mouse told reporters, “I’m doubling down on what I said yesterday, OK?” [quote from story today on team website] But since Mouse’s initial “f****** flat” comment after Sunday’s game (which the Sox lost by two fewer runs), four players have publicly disagreed with their manager, to one degree or another. Garrett Crochet, Korey Lee, Gavin Sheets and Nickey Lopez have all come out to defend team effort. Long story short, Mouse is losing, if he hasn’t already lost, the clubhouse. Tough to get a publicly-funded stadium when that happens. Tougher yet when your team slips to 15-40, the worst-ever start in team history and one game worse than the ’62 Mets, even. In the words of Lee Dorsey and Devo--Lord, I'm so tired/How long can this go on[?] I may be wrong here, but I things are about to change.

The Mouse that Roared

Another game, another loss, another flirtation with being no-hit. White Sox lose, 4-1. Same old same old, with a difference because manager Mickey Mouse finally blew his cool. Addressing reporters after the game, Mouse said starter Garrett Crochet “pitched his a** off,” and the future ex-manager was spot-on about that. Crochet went six innings against the 33-18 Orioles, giving up two runs on three hits with a walk and eleven strikeouts. Crochet would repeat what Steve Carlton did in 1972 (27-10, 1.97 ERA, Cy Young Award) if only the Sox could replicate the Phillies’ 59 wins that year. And that doesn’t look like it’s going to happen. Maybe Mouse came to this depressing realization, and maybe that’s why he added “most of the guys were f****** flat today. Unacceptable. That’s all I’ve got.” [quotes from today’s Tribune and Sun-Times, which couldn’t agree on the placement of quotation marks and whether or not to use “butt” in place of “ass” or go with “f—” or “[expletive]’ ] Postgame analyst Ozzie Guillen praised Mouse for his honesty while noting he waited 216 games to hear it. Better late than never when it comes to speaking the truth and hiring a new manager.

Losing Ugly

For the second straight game, White Sox manager Mickey Mouse called on reliever Michael Kopech in the eighth inning, and for the second straight time, Kopech blew it, giving up not one but two homeruns. Sox lose to the Orioles, 5-3. I’d fire Mouse not because he went with Kopech but for his refusal to say anything critical; saying “I’m sure that’s not where Michael wanted to throw it” to Anthony Santander on Santander’s two-run homer doesn’t exactly qualify. [quote from story on team website today] Then again, very little of what Mouse says or does qualifies as major league. And, if Mouse goes, pitching coach Ethan Katz has to follow him out the door. Yesterday, Erick Fedde pitched 6.1 innings of shutout ball against the Orioles, less a reflection on Katz than GM Chris Getz, who went shopping in the bargain basement and got himself a real steal in Fedde. The 31-year old righthander is 4-1 with a 2.80 ERA in eleven starts this season. In five seasons with the Nationals, Fedde never had an ERA under 4.29. Rookie Jordan Leasure, a Rick Hahn find from last year, is also doing pretty good, but not yesterday. Leasure paved the way for Kopech by giving up a two-run homer of his own in the eighth. Personally, I’m sick of Sox righthanders pitching lefthand hitters down in the zone. Those pitches have a tendency to go far, far away. Somebody tell Katz. And catcher Martin Maldonado, for that matter. Maldonado went 0-for-2, dropping his average to .086 (7-for-81) with 33 strikeouts. For perspective, let’s look at another 15-38 team. Yup, the ’62 Mets. The benchmark for MLB utility went through seven catchers, only one of whom put up worse stats than what Maldonado is now. And Joe Ginsburg batted a mere five times. In other words, Chris Cannizzaro (.241 BA, nine RBIs); Sammy Taylor (.222, twenty); Choo-Choo Coleman (.250, seventeen); Joe Pignatano (.232, two); Hobie Landrith (.289, seven); and Harry Chiti (.195, zero) were better options than Maldonado is now. That’s on Getz. The one silver lining here involves Eloy Jimenez’s latest injury, a left hamstring strain that is expected to sideline Jimenez four to six weeks. Now, Mouse has little choice but to play Gavin Sheets all the time. The lefthand-hitting Sheets responded yesterday with a bases-loaded triple, against a lefty, no less. So, there’s that if little else.

Trial by Fire

Another game, another loss, this one 6-4 to the Orioles because Michael Kopech can’t be expected to control the count. The White Sox record now stands at 15-37, the worst-ever start in franchise history. It also equals the ’62 Mets 52 games into the season. All I have going for me right now is stopped-clock optimism. Ex-GM Rick Hahn got so much wrong (Andrew Benintendi and his .183 BA, for example), but he seems to have gotten it right with catchers Korey Lee and Edgar Quero, currently driving in a ton of runs at Double-A Birmingham. Hahn also seems to have saved his best draft for last. Speaking of stopped clocks, there‘s current-GM Chris Getz, who’s swung and missed on Robbie Grossman (assuming the Rangers didn’t part with a sleeper of a minor-league pitcher); Kevin Pillar; Dominic Leone; and Brad Keller, to name a few. But at least in trading away Dylan Cease, Getz seems to have gotten back an intriguing prospect in 23-year old starter Drew Thorpe, who’s 7-1 with a 1.50 ERA for Birmingham. There I go talking about the minor leagues again. But like I said, this is all I’ve got to keep me off the ledge. Shortstop Jacob Gonzalez has gone 9-for-19 since his promotion while shortstop-to-second-baseman Brooks Baldwin—switch-hitter, switch-hitter!—is hitting .362. All of which leads to the question— How long until players get promoted and/or released?