He Said What?

After rookie starter Drew Thorpe threw six shutout innings for his first major-league win on Saturday, a reporter asked White Sox manager Mickey Mouse why the team wouldn’t commit to inserting Thorpe into the rotation. Mouse’s response was one for the ages. “Why not? Because this is a tough league. And if you struggle to a point where it’s not beneficial to the club and you as an individual, you’ve got to go make adjustments.” [quote from story in yesterday’s Tribune] By “go,” I think it’s safe to say Mouse meant back to the minors. But the worst manager in the 125-year history of the team—the record speaks for itself—employs a different, and some might be tempted to say double, standard when it comes to catcher Martin Maldonado, he of the .088 BA and six percent caught-stealing rate. As for the sixteen wild pitches with Maldonado behind the plate, why, those must all be the fault of the pitchers, not a 37-year old human statue of a catcher. According to Mouse, Maldonado brings intangibles. That’s the thing about intangibles—you can’t quantify them. Me, I look to the fact that the Tigers, who offense has been struggling all season, racked up eleven runs on sixteen hits against the pitch-calling of Maldonado, who also went 0-for-3 with an obligatory strikeout. Funny what happened to starter Jonathan Cannon. In his three previous appearances, totaling one run over 18.2 innings, Cannon threw to Korey Lee. Yesterday, throwing to Maldonado, he gave up eight runs (five earned) on seven hits in one-plus inning. As bad as all that was, let’s not forget Eloy Jimenez, who played in his first game since May 21st, when he injured his left hamstring. The thing of it is, Jimenez still can’t run, as evidenced by the single he hit yesterday that should’ve been a double and his obvious discomfort in going from first to third on a double by Gavin Sheets (no RBI for you, Gavin). Mouse discussed Eloy’s progress with reporters before the game. And he talked out of both ends of his mouth, saying how hard it is to gauge a player’s healing while noting Jimenez was doing the things necessary to get better. “So, he’s good to go,” said the worst manager in team history—the record speaks for itself—to the TV camera. Can it get any worse than this? Yup. The Dodgers come to town tonight.