Ha-ha

What a joke, or series of jokes, each one worse than the last, all of them at the cost of White Sox fans. Last night, the Hapless Hose lost their fifth straight, this time 10-3 to the Red Sox at Fenway. They’ve started the season a team-record-breaking 0-7 on the road. Wait, there’s more for our 4-15 patsies. Today’s starting lineup—against Garrett Crochet, no less—features six “hitters” with batting averages under .200, ranging from a high of .190 (Chase Meidroth) to a low of .103 (Jacob Amaya). How do you say “six in a row”? Now, consider the standup routine manager Will Venable is working on. Martin Perez, last night’s starter, looked bad and exited after yielding four runs in three innings of work; Perez mentioned arm fatigue as a possible factor for his crappy performance. Whatever. So, Venable felt the need to tell reporters, “We need Martin. We need the things he does on the mound, the things that he does in the clubhouse.” Ha-ha, very funny, Skipper. Because we all know Perez is gone come the trade deadline if Chris Getz can get anything in return. Wait, there’s more. Miguel Vargas, Getz’s “get” for Michael Kopech, is stinking up the joint at third base, at least with the bat. Vargas is “hitting” .145 with six RBIs in 69 at-bats. But Venable has detected some recent signs of life in the 24-year old’s bat. Considering Vargas is 3-for-26 in last seven games, he must be using top-secret criteria. “That’s what we were waiting to see a little more of, where he’s making good swing decisions, having quality at-bats. Just need to impact the ball a little bit more, but [I] feel like it’s coming [around] for him.” [both quotes from today’s Sun-Times] Vargas is in the lineup today facing Crochet, who struck him out three times their last meeting. Ha-ha, joke’s on us.