D-Y-S-F-U-N-C-T-I-O-N-A-L

If the White Sox were a real major-league organization, I doubt either GM Chris Getz or manager New-Mickey Venable would have a job outside a spot on the maintenance crew, and only as junior members under strict supervision at that. Where to begin? Yesterday’s doubleheader loss to the Cardinals offers so many examples of dysfunction, almost too many. Start with the roster—Mike Tauchman started one game and appeared late in the other. Michael A. Taylor started both games. They’re both 34. How does their playing move the rebuild along? Ditto for relievers Tyler Gilbert (age 31); Dan Altavilla (32); Cam Booser (33); and Steven Wilson (30), all of whom pitched yesterday. How do any of the promising relievers in the minors benefit with these people ahead of them on the parent club? Beats me. Then we have the matter of Vinny Capra, who appeared in both games, gong 0-for-2 to bring his average down to .106. What could possibly be worse than Getz putting Capra on the roster? Venable playing him. Speaking of Mouse II, he made at least three moves in the nightcap that qualify him for ex-manager status, pronto. Andrew Benintendi hit a game-tying grand slam in the seventh only to be pulled from the game; in came Capra as part of a multi-position shuffle. Of course, this came back to bite the Sox in the bottom of the ninth, with the score tied. Tauchman led off the inning with a walk, after which a passed ball and groundout put him on third base. Instead of Benintendi batting, it was Capra. Two problems here. First, Tauchman isn’t one-hundred percent because of a lingering groin issue. Second, Capra was up, apparently because Venable had run through all of his bench already. A suicide squeeze would seem to have been in order, but, No, Capra grounded to third and a slow-moving Tauchman was out at the plate, oh, by a mile or thereabouts. Cardinals win in extra innings. The Sox have lost eight in a row. By Sunday afternoon in Toronto, there’s a good shot for streak to hit eleven. I can’t wait to see what Mouse 2.0 will have to say about that.