Love Is...For Suckers

On Friday, Valentine’s Day, the Cubs ran a full-page ad in the news’ section of the Tribune.  It featured a conversation heart with the words “Love Is” inside it, followed by a saccharin definition thereof, starting with DEDICATION.  Trust me, the emphasis isn’t mine, any more than the idea to print copy in red ink and caps.  You’ll need to see red, then, to get the full effect.

That way, you can appreciate how, “Love is DEDICATION[.]  Cubs fans, you love your team, and the way we see it, you deserve a network that feels the same way. So we’re making a promise:  to be dedicated to you and everything you love about Cubs baseball—the games, the players, the analysis, the history, the fun, the personalities.  So here’s to the beginning of a long, beautiful relationship.”

Yeah, right, and a tip of the hat to Theo Epstein’s grandfather and great uncle, both of whom won Academy Awards for helping write the screenplay for “Casablanca.”  Now, back in my teaching days, I’d go after students who paraphrased someone else’s work without attribution.  If a student wrote, “So here’s to the beginning of a long, beautiful relationship,” I likely would’ve asked if that was intended as a paraphrase of Humphrey Bogart telling Claude Rains, “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” I’ll leave any possible offense or objection to Epstein.

Personally, I hope the Cubs’ Marquee Network crashes and burns.  Why?  Two reasons, both connected, starting with the fact I’m a White Sox fan.  The Cubs’ organization can do whatever they want, as long as I don’t have to subsidize it; this is consistent with my belief that the public shouldn’t subsidize the construction of pro sports’ facilities. The fact that all cable users, whether or not they’re Cubs’ fans or even baseball fans, will be paying for the addition of Marquee to their cable providers leads us to reason #2, already hinted at:  I don’t want to give money to the Cubs, pure and simple.

Be cute with your ads; plagiarize from “Casablanca” however much you want; see if viewers will care about personalities associated with a ball club that loses 100-plus games.  I don’t care.  Just keep your Ricketts’ hands off my wallet.