September, Chicago

This being Chicago at the start of football season, all the news that fits to print comes from the Bears, aka the Muntsers of the Midway. The Cubs stink up the joint, and they disappear. Today, they were nowhere to be found in the pages of the once-mighty Chicago Tribune. And anyone who went online early wouldn’t have found anything new, either. The latest Cubs’ story, no doubt to be turned into hard copy if and when needed, didn’t get posted until after 8 AM. By virtue of their record, the White Sox are luckier; you can’t ignore a postseason-bound team, unless maybe it consists of female players, like with the Sky. Just be prepared to wade through page after page of Bears’ coverage to find the Sox story or wait for the TV sportscaster to get around to them. Top priority in these parts come fall—or any other season—is that NFL legacy joke of a team run by the descendants of George Halas. What would Sox manager Tony La Russa sound like as a football coach? Why, he’d be the second coming of the Bears’ Matt Nagy, of course. Only Nagy is 33 years younger, which would make him the second coming of La Russa. Whichever. The Bears embarrassed themselves (what new?) before a national audience Sunday night, falling to the Rams 34-14 at SoFi Stadium. (By the way, if SoFi is the future, count me out.) On LA’s opening drive, Bears’ safeties Eddie Jackson and Tashaun Gipson failed to touch Van Jefferson after Jerfferson hit the ground making a catch at the Chicago 15-yard line. Jefferson picked himself up and ran in for the touchdown. Who knew? Here's Nagy/La Russa discussing the play with reporters yesterday (quote from today’s Sun-Times): “I guarantee you that [the team’s] entire defense will learn from that, and our offensive players will learn from that, too.” Oh, my God, where to begin, Coach? Your defensive players should know to down the opponent, period. They should have learned that somewhere between Pop Warner and JV. If you’re employing people who were unaware (I wouldn’t dare say “clueless”), shame on you and that suddenly-invisible general manager of yours, Ryan Pace. Nagy went on to say, “If you’re not touched, stand up and run and turn it into a touchdown.” Yeah, but how many times can the Bears expect to play the Bears?