Waiting for Comment

Well, here’s another reason not to feel all warm and fuzzy about the White Sox hiring Tony LaRussa to be their next manager—LaRussa has a DUI case pending in Arizona. A Sox official said, Yes, they knew about it but couldn’t say anything more given that the proceedings are ongoing. What he might have commented on is why the Sox and their new-old hire didn’t feel a need to get ahead of this when LaRussa was brought back last month. That would’ve been the smart thing to do, and Sox owner Jerry Reinsdorf is supposed to be the smartest guy in the room. Oh, wait. Reinsdorf was nowhere to be seen on the day of the hiring. As for the man of the hour, LaRussa was contacted and seized the issue right by its horns (not). When ESPN phoned him on Monday, LaRussa responded with, “I have nothing to say,” after which he hung up. Allow me, then, to say a few things in his stead. For openers, this is the second time LaRussa has been charged with DUI, the first time during spring training in Florida in 2007. The then-Cardinals’ manager pleaded guilty and said, “I accept full responsibility for my conduct and assure everyone that I have learned a very valuable lesson,” which must have been that it pays to have a billionaire baseball owner for a friend. I can’t help but think there’s a pattern here. If LaRussa drives and drinks, does he drink at work, if not in the dugout then up in a suite, the kind a special assistant might find himself in for the Red Sox or Diamondbacks? I’m also curious if alcohol affects LaRussa’s behavior. Is he a mean drunk or just a boor of a drunk? Does he get all gushy and sentimental or stare down at his drink brooding? Do the White Sox know what kind of drinker LaRussa is? They should.

Tool and Fool, Review

The Bears lost to the Titans yesterday by a score of 24-17, or was it 240-7? All you need to know about the game is that Tennessee spotted the visitors two touchdowns in the fourth quarter and still walked away with the win. Here’s my favorite play(s) of the game, third quarter, fourth and one at the Tennessee 31. The Bears decide to go for it, only they get called for two, that’s right, two, false-start penalties. Call in the clowns, or Bears’ punter Patrick O’Donnell, whoever can find his way onto the field without incurring a yellow flag. Honorable mention for favorite play—an eleven-yard run on a fake punt. That was the longest run all day for the Munsters. Coach Matt Nagy still seems confused when and how to use timeouts, but cut him some slack. Nagy’s boss, GM Ryan Pace, stuck him with a mediocre offensive line, now made infinitely worse by multiple injuries and a COVID-19 positive test. Speaking of Pace, funny how he’s made like Elvis and left the room, the planet, this plane of existence…

My Hitless Wonders

Jose Abreu, Tim Anderson and Eloy Jimenez all snagged themselves Silver Slugger Awards yesterday, to which I say: Congrats, now do it again (and again). Naturally, the news got me reminiscing about White Sox teams from long ago. The Sox were “Hitless Wonders” almost from the start; the label dates to the 1906 team (with a league-worst team batting average of .230) that shocked the heavily-favored Cubs four games to two in Chicago’s only crosstown World Series. With the construction of Comiskey Park four years later, friendly pitching dimensions made “hitless wonders” and “White Sox” more or less synonymous, at least for lazy sportswriters, and, Yes, I realize that may be redundant. It would be more accurate to call Sox teams “homerless” wonders courtesy of the home park. Consider that dead centerfield could be as much as 440 feet from home plate. I was too young to make sense of baseball in the 1950s, the era of the Go-Go White Sox, but I do know those teams have been labelled, unfairly, as “hitless wonders.” In fact, from 1951-59, Sox teams twice led the league in batting while finishing one point off another time. That compares to a league-leading team ERA of one time (1959, of course). Did they ever lead the league in homeruns in the ’50s? Don’t be silly; that was the Yankees’ domain. How many times during the decade did they lead the league in stolen bases? Every year, ’51-59. Bill Veeck traded away a ton of hitting talent after 1959: Earl Battey; Norm Cash; Johnny Callison; Don Mincher; John Romano. That helps explain the batting averages of teams I do remember: 1964 (.247); 1965 (.246); 1966 (.231!) and 1967 (.225!!). Like the saying goes, You can’t steal first base. Me, I’d just like to take those Silver Sluggers and put them on the ’64 team that finished all of one game behind the pennant-winning Yankees or the ’67 squad that nearly snuck in ahead of Hawk Harrelson’s Red Sox. Now, that would’ve been sweet.

BFFs

Well, Bob Nightengale of USA Today sure is bent out of shape. He can’t understand why White Sox fans are “livid that they [the Sox] had the audacity of hiring a 76-year old manager who’s in the Hall of Fame, winning the third-most games in history, instead of hiring a manager [ex-Astros’ manager AJ Hinch] who cheated his way to a World Series ring.” Pay attention, Bob, and I’ll explain the difference. Hinch is on record apologizing for his role in the Astros’ sign-stealing scandal. New-old manager Tony LaRussa has had thirty years to talk about steroids’ use on those Athletics’ teams he managed, and not a peep. I’d rather a guy who says he’s sorry to a guy who won’t admit to wrongdoing. If I were Jerry Reinsdorf (perish the thought), I would’ve skipped over both Hinch and LaRussa for ex-Sox catcher Sandy Alomar. Maybe you’d like to devote a column to that someday.

Compare and Contrast

Luis Robert was awarded a Gold Glove last night for his defense in center field. Robert was the first Sox rookie to win one since…Tommie Agee in 1966. Holy Memory, Batman. Remembering stuff in some detail is one of the few benefits of getting older. I remember Agee, who definitely was what would now be called a five-tool player. He came to the Sox in January of 1965 with Tommie John (and John Romano) in a three-way trade with the Indians and A’s. John made an immediate splash that season, going 14-7 with a 3.09 ERA, while Agee suffered a broken hand in spring training and had to wait a year to debut on the South Side. Fans weren’t disappointed. The right-handed hitting Agee batted .273 with 22 homeruns; 86 RBIs; 98 runs scored; and 44 stolen bases. We’re talking Rookie of the Year plus a Gold Glove. Too bad 1967 followed ’66. In his second and final year on the South Side, Agee hit .234 with 14 homers; 52 RBIs; 73 runs; and 28 stolen bases. The Sox, figuring Agee was more of a one-year wonder than a building block, shipped him off to the Mets for Tommie Davis. The best-laid plans of mice and men and Sox GM Ed Short… Agee did even worse his first year in New York before turning it around in that unbelievable season of 1969. He had three very nice years, ’69-’71, followed by two blah years, after which he was out of baseball by the age of 30. Yes, I remember all of that. So, when it comes to Robert, I want him to use the tools he was given and make me forget about comparisons to Tommie Agee.

Silly, Stupid Season

COVID-19 or no COVID-19, baseball’s silly season is here. Visit MLB.com, and writers are in a frenzy spending other people’s money while playing the always-fun game of General Manager. Then I look at The Athletic, which likes to play mean cop to MLB.com’s dumb cop. There was a story yesterday, “The Pressure Index 2.0: Ranking every MLB team’s chances to improve this winter,” by Marc Carig and Andy McCullpugh. It appears the Phillies really, really have to get a move-on. You see, they “spent stupid money to sign Bryce Harper,” but they missed the playoffs. If ownership and the front office doesn’t get its act together, “signing Harper won’t go down as just spending stupid money. It will go down as just plain stupid.” Ouch. But that’s how it is with sportswriters today. They always want somebody to do something, and then rip them when things don’t work out. Funny, but I couldn’t find anyone who thought signing Harper for megabucks in 2018 was stupid or questioned bringing in Joe Girardi this year to manage. Those were consensus great moves, except that the Phils finished 28-32 this season. They were actually better the year before under Gabe Kapler at 81-81. What’s stupid here is declaring someone a superstar when he isn’t and talking gibberish when his teams don’t perform. Like I said, it’s silly season.

Rhyme Time

Bears’ head coach Matt Nagy is a tool and GM Ryan Pace is a fool for hiring him. If only something rhymed with “McCaskey.” The Bears dropped to 5-3 after their 26-23 loss in overtime to the Saints at a (thankfully, mercifully) empty Soldier Field yesterday afternoon. The NFL should take pity on this legacy franchise and award it points for being so willing to spot the other team an entire quarter. The Bears’ offense doesn’t show up for the third quarter, allowing the opposition as many points as it can score on the defense. And, you know what, I think it’s time we attach the “o” word to middle linebacker Khalil Mack, as in “overrated.” If Mack is carrying this defense, then it must stink beyond belief. Blame that on the general manager. As for Inspector Gadget, he’s totally out of his depth trying to find ways to blast, not holes, but canyons for his mediocre-at-best running backs to stumble through. But Gadget didn’t draft those running backs any more than he built an offensive line that all falls down a second or two after the snap. That, too, falls on Pace. Nagy reminds me of ex-coach Dave Wannstedt, always positive to a fault, until he burned out. Say what you will about Wannstedt, but he never pretended he could rock a visor. Somebody should tell Nagy. And, while they’re at it, somebody should inform the scions of the Halas legacy 5-11 isn’t that hard to imagine come January 3rd. Happy New Year.