Just Take a
Breath and Relax
When I was a
kid, the weather man on TV tended to be both performer and meteorologist. In particular, I remember P.J. Hoff, whose
forecasts almost always included a weather-related cartoon. One of Hoff’s many characters was the
Vice-president in Charge of Looking Out the Window. What would that august personage see today?
Well, last
night, Christmas, he would have gone to bed with the ground covered in snow,
and this morning he would have wondered where it all went. Somehow, because of how this front and that
high-pressure system worked out, the temperature has climbed nearly 20 degrees,
into the 50s, which can only mean one thing on the news today. No, Mr. Hoff won’t be coming back from the
dead, though I wouldn’t mind for ever so many reasons. Instead, we’ll be getting all of these shots
of people biking and running along the lakefront. Then some blithering anchor will say how it
feels like spring. (The same person just
days before was hoping for a white Christmas.)
Only no one’s throwing a ball around or shooting hoops in the park
because it’s too wet and muddy, and there’s garbage everywhere.
If I want to think baseball, I’ll go
online and track the latest White Sox trade rumors; the Sox hope to get another
haul of prospects for starter Jose Quintana.
Whether or not they do, following those rumors is safer than pretending
we’ve zapped into March. This is one of
those days you can’t trust what you see outside your window. Right, P.J.?
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