Bad Day at Black Rock

Clare wanted to talk to me about Eloy Jimenez, that lovable bull in the White Sox china shop. On Monday, Eloy did a Zoom call in which he declared he wasn’t accepting the notion of being the primary DH this season. No, he wants to play the outfield. With Andrew Benintendi signed to play left, Eloy wants to give right a shot. Never mind that Eloy’s had plenty of time to learn the easiest position in the game. Having failed there, he intends to switch over to right field, where balls off the bats of right-handed hitters tend to slice away from the fielder. But Eloy says he’s been practicing, so there’s that. Too bad he didn’t start showing this level of effort earlier; he’s been a major leaguer since 2019. Now, all of a sudden he wants to get better? OK, but he might want to tell Oscar Colas, the rookie the Sox have penciled in for right field, where he’s going to play. Moving right along, Clare asked if I saw what Eloy said about who’s going to step up as a team leader with Jose Abreu now in Houston; he couldn’t name anyone. Hello, Tim Anderson. Care to comment? As we were discussing all things Eloy, Clare interrupted, “Oh, this isn’t good,” and I’m thinking another California mass shooting or something in Ukraine. Then she read the announcement that MLB is investigating recent Sox free-agent signee Mike Clevinger on allegations of domestic and child abuse. Clevinger is accused of choking the mother of one of his children and throwing used tobacco—more information here please. By my way of thinking, used tobacco gets spit, not thrown, unless the thrower is being really gross—at his ten-month old daughter. To which you can only say: Way to go, White Sox. They go from Tony LaRussa, who was facing a DUI charge at the time of his hiring in 2020, to this. Does the front office know the meaning of “due diligence”? Not from where I sit. These days, we all have to be Caesar’s wife, beyond reproach. But that would require knowledge of Shakespeare, and the Sox seem stuck in vaudeville.