Two Peas in a Pod

The White Sox are the Bears are the White Sox, two chronically underperforming franchises whose owners behave in ways guaranteed to result in sustained failure. Take yesterday, please. The Sox lost 3-2 in Detroit, the ghost of Rick Hahn appearing in the form of Yasmani Grandal grounding into a rally-killing, bases-loaded double play to end the sixth inning. The ghost of Tony La Russa followed in the seventh inning, when manager Mickey Mouse pinch-hit for one lefty (Gavin Sheets), but not another. Oscar Colas responded to this show of faith by striking out and then nearly injuring second baseman Elvis Andrus on a pop fly that went for a two-base error. Oh, and Tim Anderson failed to run out a squib in front of the plate, not that Mouse benched Anderson for lack of effort. How ever did Mouse get from Detroit to Soldier Field so fast? Because it sure looked like Mouse, not Matt Eberflus, coaching on the sidelines of the Munsters’ 38-20 season-opener smackdown administered by the Packers. The bubble screen (it’ll work one of these times, it has to); a non-existent running game; penalty after penalty. Same old same old. I heard Eberflus say after the game the Bears would learn from this, what exactly, who knows? Mickey Mouse says the same thing all the time, too. Maybe it’s losers’ lingo that’s music to the ears of a certain kind of owner. But it offends me to the core.