Your Choice

The White Sox and Bears are identical twins or clones, your choice. Either way, the similarities are equally striking and depressing. Bears’ head coach Matt Eberflus carries a 3-17 record in one-plus seasons. To hear him speak after a loss about his team being so close and just needing to pay attention to detail is to hear the echoes of Sox manager Mickey Mouse saying the exact same thing at one of his press conferences. What’s scary is how each of them really seems to believe the jibber he’s spouting. This focus on putting in the work and having a plan, both part of the gospel preached by Eberflus/Mouse, derives from the world of analytics. Before, teams looked to match good players with good coaches. Now, coaches are technicians utilizing gizmos to maximize player performance. Talent is programmable. I think this is wrong on any number of levels, but at least some teams hire “techs” who can read and implement the data. Eberflus has a job because GM Ryan Poles hired him, and Poles has a job because George McCaskey hired him. Enough said. With the Sox, Chris Getz became part of the organization because Kenny Williams/Rick Hahn wanted him, and he took over as GM when Williams/Hahn were finally shown the door. Can you imagine any of these people as part of the Rays or Packers? Both teams run from personalities. The Sox dumped Frank Thomas and Ozzie Guillen because they had too much; for Jerry Reinsdorf, better to go with the likes of Adam Dunn and Mickey Mouse, damn’ the consequences. It’s the same with the Bears. Go no further than Patrick Mahomes. I think members of the front office were scared off by the fact the twenty-one year old had opinions on a variety of subjects which he freely shared with them in the months before the draft. Better to go with Mitch Trubisky. With the Munsters, silence is a virtue that trumps ability. For all their respective talk about the importance of “culture,” both organizations treat their fan bases and the media with contempt. Two people were shot during a game at Guaranteed Rate Whatever back in August? Oh, the bullet must’ve come from outside. And your proof of that assertion, Mr. Reinsdorf? I won’t hold my breath waiting for him to provide something close to evidence. Last week, Bears’ defensive coordinator Alan Williams resigned for reasons nobody at Halas Hall wants to talk about. Everyone sounds like Peter denying he’s a follower of Christ. I half-expect to hear a cock crow during the next Eberflus news conference. Last, but not least, both teams treat their presence in the city as a gift from on high, one which they’ll take away if only they can find a new home willing to put up with their diva demands. Give us what we want, or we’ll take our losing culture—because that’s what the Sox and Bears are about far more often than not—elsewhere. Two peas in a pod, if someone will pick up the tab to build them one.