Mark
Twain said the difference between the right word and the nearly right word is
the difference between “lightning bug” and “lightning,” or “apology” and “Alex
Rodriguez.”
Rodriguez
issued a handwritten apology yesterday sadly devoid of the right words. Yankee fans were told, “I take full
responsibility for the mistakes that led to my suspension for the 2014 season.” Whose mistakes? Rodriguez could just as well be saying that a
subordinate screwed up, which is true in a way.
He goes on to note, “I served the longest suspension in the history of
the league for PED use.” So? Does he want a medal? Truly, this was a case of the punishment
fitting the crime, if only person at fault would admit it. But he prefers to say the commissioner and
players’ association both consider the matter over, which means—now wait for
it—“I’m ready to put this chapter behind me and play some ball.”
Do
you think Rodriguez read Lou Gehrig’s farewell address at Yankee Stadium for
inspiration? Me neither.
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