State of Mind

Ultimate fighter Ronda Rousey admitted this week to thoughts of suicide in the wake of her November defeat at the hands and feet of Holly Holm.  Rousey told talk-show host Ellen DeGeneres, “I was sitting in the corner and I was like, ‘What am I anymore if I’m not this?’”  She was sure “‘no one gives a s--- about me anymore without this.’” 

Rousey said the love of her boyfriend brought her back, and you hope that it has.  To her credit, Rousey has raised a question that all athletes—and the parents of aspiring athletes—must confront at some point: What is the athlete without the sport?

I don’t want my daughter ever to forget that she’s a ballplayer and that God gave her an incredible gift, to hit baseballs and softballs with equal skill.  But we raised Clare to become a thinking adult, and, if she thinks of herself as more than a jock, that’s good; Michele and I have done something right as parents, then.  It might hurt me not to be going to Florida next month to watch Clare start the softball season, but that’s a part of life I have to accept.

Many athletes can’t.  I think of Pete Rose or any lifer toiling away in the minors, the NBA developmental league or a league—pick the sport—on another continent.  Life goes on whether or not the game is played.  This is why I think many if not most ex-athletes look to be so out of shape; the fat reminds them they’re not athletes anymore.  But they are people with lives to lead.  With luck, their parents showed the way a long time ago.