Repeat After Me---

Girls can’t play baseball.  Maybe that’s true, though I’ll go to my grave believing otherwise.  The proof is in the box scores, if only general managers would bother to look.

Let’s start with the White Sox.  Oops, that won’t work because the Sox didn’t play Avisail Garcia in yesterday’s win over the Rangers.  Garcia, all 6’4” and 240 pounds of him, had a seat on the bench, the better to go over his 7-for-58 start for the season.  That translates into a .135 batting average, wouldn’t you know?

But let’s not pick on Garcia.  Logan Morrison, a 6’2” 240-pound seven-year MLB veteran, is batting a robust .080, as in 120 points below the Mendoza line.  That’s what happens when you go 4 for 50.  And let’s not forget 6’4”, 210-pound Chris Colabello.  He’s started the season off hitting .069!  What could be worse than going 2 for 29? you ask.  In Colabello’s case, getting caught taking PEDs, along with the 80-game suspension handed down last week.

Repeat after me—Girls are too small to play baseball.  Just never mind that the Astros’ Jose Altuve, with his 5’6” and 165- pound frame, is currently hitting .316.  Altuve is a career .305 hitter in this, his sixth season.  At least baseball is consistent.  It hates small players almost as much as it does female players.