Matt, Make It Stop, I’m Begging You

Bears’ head coach Matt Nagy is the most prolific spouter of cliches and gibberish I can ever recall in Chicago sports. The Department of Defense and the CIA should ask Nagy to record some of his “observations” so that they could be used to break down resistance of spies and terrorists. Nagy-talk is waterboarding without the wet. In today’s Tribune, the Bears’ third-year coach—and it sure feels longer than that, doesn’t it?—offered, “I just feel like we have a good pulse on knowing that, big picture, the struggle to run the football is where a lot of this stuff starts.” And let’s not overlook this gem: “At the same point in time [what, not a point in the universe?], I’d say with the passing game, whether it’s pass protection, whether it’s routes and details of the routes [double “Huh?” here], it’s really all of that coming together at the same time [triple “Huh?”].” Mere mortals might be exhausted after expressing such profound inanities, but not Coach. He was possessed of enough strength and gibber to say, “When the quarterback is playing really, really well, it makes it easier for everybody, and when everybody else is playing really, really well, it makes it really good for the quarterback.” Gosh, really? This is the coach team general manager Ryan Pace hired because this is how Pace talks, or would like to. God, take pity on your Bears’ fans. Their front office and ownership know not what they do, or say. Really, really.