Gibber

I had a teaching assistant who came up to me after class one day and said, “You shouldn’t use weasel words.” She was right. We should all say what we mean and mean what we say. That’s impossible with Bears’ coach Matt Nagy, unless he means the gibberish that pours out of his mouth. I think he does, which is bad enough. I also think it was the very quality of his gibber that attracted the McCaskeys in the first place, and that’s so much worse. Nagy spouts nonsense virtually every time he steps to the podium. Sunday’s loss to the Cardinals was no different. Here’s Nagy in yesterday’s Sun-Times on his quarterback throwing four interceptions: “There’s no stat in the NFL for interceptions that occur that aren’t on the quarterback, but there probably should be.” Why “probably”? There should be or there shouldn’t. And let’s say there was. Then you’re merely shifting blame to ham-handed receivers. Either way, it’s your team that’s screwing up, Coach. Or how about this gem (also in the Times): “Four turnovers are going to hurt. Our guys know that, and they care.” Where do you even start? Lastly, this “Knute Rockne minus the winning” declaration, as reported in yesterday’s Tribune: “The only thing we can do is keep fighting and sticking together. I know it can sound old. I know it can sound monotonous. I gotcha. But when you’re in these moments, when you’re in that locker room together and you’re fighting together…we’re always going to give it everything that we’ve got. That’s all we can do, no matter who we’re playing.” And if giving it everything you’ve got leads to four interceptions, then what? Nagy wants fans to believe a band of brothers inhabits the Bears’ locker room. He’s incapable of seeing it’s more like a band of Stooges.