The Beast Lumbers Northward

The McCaskeys can’t run their football team, but that hasn’t stopped them from exploring a move to the suburbs. They already have an option on 326 acres in Arlington Heights. CEO Ted Phillips, who would be hard-pressed to explain the difference between a blitz and a blintz, is quoted in today’s Tribune that the Munsters envision an “entertainment destination with multiple facets to it that I think could really help put Arlington Heights on the map as a wonderful destination site.” Like I said, blitz and blintz. Chairman George McCaskey, who would be hard-pressed to explain the difference between a seat and a safety, says the property represents an “outstanding, long-term proposition with high potential for the Bears.” And in all probability, no one else. I have relations who live in Arlington Heights, so I can tell you there’s stuff McCaskey and Phillips aren’t addressing, like what happens to the already well-established entertainment district in this community of 74,000 to 77,000 residents. When Phillips talks about an “entertainment destination,” he’s borrowing a page out of Jerry Reinsdorf’s playbook. When Reinsdorf opened his ball mall in 1991, he made sure that fans had nowhere to go but the food court surrounding the field of play. Go to Wrigley Field, and there are bars and restaurants everywhere. Go to Guaranteed Rate Whatever, and good luck finding anything but parking lots in the immediate vicinity. The Munsters want parking lots plus restaurants, all under their control. Bye-bye Arlington Heights bars and grills. Did I mention Woodfield, at 2.2 millions square feet the largest mall in Illinois? The mall is at most six miles from the site the Bears are eyeing. Imagine Sunday traffic come holiday time. Imagine all those restaurants that have opened in and around Woodfield. How happy are they going to be about their customers having to fight all that increased traffic and all those Bears’ fans who won’t be inclined to become customers there after the game? Like I said and McCaskey alluded to, great for the Bears. If everything goes as the Munsters hope, then what? Well, the surrounding community gets screwed while the team gets rich, for openers. And what about all that new revenue coming in? The salary cap means it won’t be going back into the team. No, the McCaskey will just get richer. I thought you weren’t supposed to get rewarded for mediocrity and worse. Oh, wait, we’re talking professional sports, where up is down and billionaires cry poor while the value of their teams skyrockets.