A Fish Called...Tony, or Jerry

Cubs’ rookie infielder Patrick Wisdom celebrated his 30th birthday Friday night by clubbing two homeruns—one of which may have come down by now—at Guaranteed Rate Whatever. Wisdom had so much fun that he added two more last night against White Sox starter Lance Lynn. Thirty-year old left fielder Rafael Ortega—now on his fifth major-league team—had so much fun watching Wisdom that he added a homer of his own, of the grand-slam variety. That’s all you need to know about the Cubs’ 7-0 win over Lynn and the Sox. Oh, and Sox hitter don’t like anything but fastballs, which was a pitch Cubs’ starter Alec Mills wasn’t inclined to throw for the 8-1/3 innings he was on the mound. You’d think hitting coach Frank Menechino would be telling his charges to hit the pitches thrown, not the ones they wanted thrown. You’d also think Lynn would’ve been laser-focused on beating a team with a 56-74 record. Instead, he needed 95 pitches—only 64 of them strikes—to labor through five innings. If Lynn didn’t know to throw strikes, his catcher Seby Zavala should’ve told him. If the rookie Zavala didn’t know what pitches to call, then pitching coach Ethan Katz should’ve told him. If Katz and Zavala weren’t calling pitches, that leaves manager Tony La Russa. A fish rots from the head down, they say. If La Russa isn’t the one responsible for last night’s stink of a game, that leaves the man who hired him. Right, Jerry?