Nice Ride

Life has meaning when an attractive young woman notices you exercising. Only in this case she said, “Hey, nice bike,” instead of “nice bod.” Oh, well. I was out Tuesday and Wednesday riding my Schwinn Sports Tourer, 1972 model, on the 606. Tuesday’s ride was cut short when the new Brooks Saddle seat I installed came loose and stayed that way despite all efforts to tighten it. So, off to the Lone Gun Men Schwinn shop. No, it’s not actually called that, but it definitely gives off a little of that X-Files vibe with the three guys who are always—and I mean always—there. Someday I might even bump into Scully and Mulder. Anyway, the boss of the Gun Men took my bike and spent a good ten minutes reinstalling the seat. Then he sized it for me; with the bike in a stationary position and your butt on the seat, you should be standing on the balls of your feet. And so I was. We got to talking, and I asked the boss the difference between a Sports Tourer and a Paramount. “The difference between comfort and performance,” he answered. “The Tourer is a Cadillac, and the Paramount’s a Corvette.” Suddenly, it all made sense. I asked if there was any way I could get my Belgian-made rims to shine, and he sold me a tube of special wax made in Germany. The boss also advised me to get a high-performance car wax to protect the frame. “That’s opaque green. Schwinn only used it for one year, and you can’t find any touch-up paint. But people are going to notice that bike.” After I got those rims to sparkle, someone sure did. I’ll be spending the next few weeks trying to decide if I want to switch to a Corvette. Vroom, vroom.