Name that Tune

On Sunday, after Cubs’ reliever Aroldis Chapman had retired the Cardinals in the top of the ninth, he walked back to the dugout serenaded to the sounds of “Smack My Bitch Up” playing over the P.A. system.  The person responsible for that decision is no longer in the employ of the Cubs.

Here’s the thing, though.  According to the story in today’s Tribune, the employee got the song off a tape popular with people who run pro sports’ stadiums throughout the U.S.  So, that little ditty heard at Wrigley Field could make the rounds at other venues, if it already hasn’t numerous times.

That’s the monkey-see-monkey-do mindset of major league baseball for you.  If one team has a mascot, they all do.  If one team has young interns dancing on the roof of the dugout, they all do.  If one team used to play rock music before the start of the game, they all did.  Please, someone tell me what AC/DC or U2 has to do with Abner Doubleday?

When I win Powerball and ransom free the White Sox, here’s what’s going to happen—the only current music that gets played inside the park will be walkup songs; everything else will come from the organist or a library that stops around 1960.  You want to hear “Carmen” or Duke Ellington over the sound system?  Then come to my rebuilt Comiskey Park.

I’d also have live music outside the park, with all up-and-coming performers welcome, regardless the genre, so long as they agree no potty-mouth lyrics.  Did I say all genres?  Oops.  There’ll be one exception.  Dixieland has no more to do with Opening Day or the rest of baseball than Smack….