Scandal, with Questions

The world of U.S. gymnastics is being rocked by a sexual abuse scandal of mind-numbing proportions.  How could one abuser have so many enablers?  Because Larry Nassar did (courtesy of Michigan State University, USA Gymnastics and the U.S. Olympic Committee), young gymnasts were put at risk, if not outright abused, as a matter of course.  So far, 130 women have stepped forward to claim abuse by Nassar, who will be spending the rest of his life in prison after his conviction for possession of child pornography.

Any parent who reads the details can’t help but seethe.  For parents of athletes, there’s more to the story, a mix of doubt and fear that leads to certain questions: Did I subject my kid to a similar situation?  Did I ignore signs of something bad happening?  Was I being told about it in a roundabout but not too roundabout fashion?  Why did I trust those people in the first place?

I can answer that last question—because we have no choice, really.  There comes a point in your child’s athletic—or artistic, for that matter—development where you stop being the coach.  With Clare, it started as soon as she made her first travel ball team.  All of a sudden,  what Coach says, not what you say, matters above all else.  The more unscrupulous the coach, the more that playing time can be used as a weapon. 

Clare never had coaches who showed a Nassar-like interest in her.  She did have coaches who were absolute, total jerks, little Napoleons whose moves were certainly questionable and whose personalities brooked no questions.  Those coaches I learned to fight with.

The Harvey Weinstein stuff, though, never happened to my daughter as a player, although it does in softball.  (Men coaching young women?  Oh, yeah, it does.)  No, the Weinstein scenarios didn’t start until graduate school.  Maybe Clare extrapolated from dealing with jerks when she had to confront wolves in men’s clothing.  Luckily, so far so good.