On
Monday, the Chicago Bandits won the National Fastpitch championship with a 1-0
victory over the USSSA Pride. I know
this because I happened to catch the 52-word story in Tuesday’s Tribune. That’s 52 more words than in the Sun-Times,
and, if anyone mentioned it on the nightly sports, I missed it.
According
to scholarshipstats.com, there were nearly 372,000 high school softball players
in 2014 and another 31,000 in college.
Somehow, that translates into five—count them, five—pro teams. And where did the Bandits win their
title? Why, in Hoover, Alabama, although
don’t ask me why. It would seem to make
more sense to hold the games in a major media venue like New York City, Chicago
or Los Angeles. And how many fans were
in attendance. The NPF website puts it
at…0, as in less than one. Oh, and the
website will soon have an online form for anyone interested in acquiring a
franchise.
I’m
tempted. First, I’d build a home field
that looked like a real ballpark down to the quirky dimensions and brick
walls. Next, I’d install a four-player
pitching staff because it can’t hurt to borrow a few ideas from baseball. Then, I’d put everyone in pinstripes, and
they’d be wearing caps in the field, not visors. If I had any money left over, I’d take out
ads in the paper to let the world know the Chicks or Bloomer Girls or Xenas
exist and are worth a look.
I
just need to win the lottery to get started.
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