The Sky is Falling

Poor Brandon Moss.  He thinks rule changes will spell the end of baseball as he knows it.  “I’m just glad I will not be playing this game in ten years,” Moss told columnist Bob Nightengale of USA Today.  “It won’t be recognizable.  It’s going in a direction where it’s not the same game. Every year they keep trying to think of some stupid new rule.  It’s getting old, real old.”   

Let me tell you what got old a long time ago—hitters stepping out of the box after each pitch to adjust their batting gloves.  I wonder if Moss has ever complained about that change in the game, or when pitchers first started to take a coffee break between pitches.  Talk about old-fast.

MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred wants to speed up the game, short of cutting into commercial breaks, of course; we don’t want to be cutting into revenue, no sir.  Instead, the commissioner and the players’ association have agreed to do away with the intentional walk.  So, no more Tommy Kahnle of the White Sox giving up a wild pitch in the process of throwing four  intentional wide ones.  Yippee.

I’m less interested in missing out on those times every other year or so when hitters have gotten hits off of intended intentional pitches.  What I think is going to be lost is the gamble managers take in ordering an intentional pass.  While not every pitcher pulls a Tommy Kahnle (last May in Kansas City, in case you’re wondering), many pitchers do have a hard time getting the ball over the plate in the next at-bat.  Now, that’s gone.  An unwarranted advantage goes to the defense.

Let me offer a far better way to speed up the game, by charting average nine-inning game times by umpiring crew, with bonuses attached for the quickest and all results made public.  Fans are entitled to know who the slow-poke crews are.

Under my plan, if any batter needs to adjust his batting gloves after a pitch, that would be fine, as long as he realizes he won’t get time called but will get a strike called no matter where the pitcher puts the ball during the gloves’ adjustment.  If the pitcher wants to plumb his inner depths between pitches, fine again, as long as he realizes the next pitch will be a ball no matter if it’s down the center of the plate.  Complain, and you’re tossed immediately.  Come out of the dugout to complain about your player getting tossed, and you join him, pronto.  Umpires would also be encouraged to call a consensus strike zone or face being overruled by pitch-tracker technology.  Again, bonuses would be awarded to the crews with the best records along with all findings made public. 

How about it, Commissioner?